Page 55 of Every Star that Shines

“Delanie. Emma. Mom and Dad. I’m worried about Dad—he hasn’t been doing so well again lately. This harvest was hard on him, I could tell. I had thought I could make things with Delanie work for a while by us travelling back and forth regularly so I could still see Emma and help at the farm, but that was a stretch even between Vancouver and Peace Crossing. Ontario might as well be on another planet. And you just want me to lay down and let Emma go?”

Monica’s face hardened. “I’m not giving her up either, Caleb. You’re a good dad, and I want you to continue being part of her life. But I’m her mom. You and I both know that if you fight this, the courts will award her to me. I was hoping we could find an amicable solution without having to resort to lawyers. We’ve always been able to resolve things in the past.”

“Most things,” he said, looking at her sideways. If their conflict resolution skills were truly up to snuff, he couldn’t help but think they would still be together.

Then again, he couldn’t have pretended emotions he didn’t have—he wasn’t that good of an actor. He had cared for Monica, but he’d never loved her—not with a whole-hearted, I’d-do-anything-for-you sort of love. Not the way he loved Emma. Or Delanie. And Monica had sensed it. When she had told him she wanted a divorce, he’d tried to convince her to stick it out for Emma’s sake, but in his heart, he couldn’t blame her for leaving. And they had been able to work out a peaceful co-parenting solution he’d always been happy with.

Until now.

Now, his blood ran cold when he realized Monica was right. If he fought this, she would end up with Emma anyway and it would only cause bad blood between them.

“It doesn’t sound like I have much of a choice,” he muttered.

She gave him a look of mixed regret and resolve. “No. I’m sorry, but you don’t. I was hoping you would see it my way, but I’m taking Emma, either way.”

She paused to watch the show, then sighed.

“I’m sorry, Caleb. I really am. But Dave is my family now. His baby deserves to know its father too. And maybe this actually works out better for both of us.”

“How could that be?”

She shrugged. “If you were already planning to fly back and forth between Vancouver and Peace Crossing, flying to Ontario instead will probably cost half as much and take the same amount of time, or maybe less, without the additional hop from Edmonton to Peace Crossing in the mix.”

She was right. Local flights were expensive and layovers were time-consuming. In some ways, this might make his decision easier—he could move to Vancouver with Delanie and the end result would be much the same as if he had stayed here.

But the thought of his daughter being most of the way across the country from him felt like agreeing to let Monica rip out his heart and take it to Mars. Maybe he should consider moving to Brampton after all, and fly to see Delanie instead. But that left his dad stuck with the farm alone again, and with the way Marcus’s health had been regressing lately, Caleb couldn’t do that to him.

“Did you ask Emma what she wants?”

Monica frowned. “I hardly think that’s a fair burden to give a nine-year-old. Choosing between her parents? I had hoped we could come up with an arrangement first and just tell her.”

“Are you afraid she’d pick me?” He knew he sounded childish, but anger and the fear of losing his daughter had made him petty.

Anger flashed through Monica’s eyes. “I’m not going to ask her to pick anyone. It’s not her decision. We’re her parents, we get to decide what’s best. And I hope you’ll see that what’s best is for her to stay with her mother.”

Caleb clenched the pen in his fist. “But what if it’s not? I’m not her only family here, Monica, which was something I’d already been factoring in while wrestling with my other decision. She has two sets of grandparents here, plus all her friends and a school she loves. And this.” He indicated the theatre with a wave. “Small towns present opportunities that big cities do not.”

“And the opposite is also true. You know that.” Her expression softened. “Nothing about this is easy, Caleb. But the hard choice is often the right one. You of all people should know that.”

He pressed his lips together, a maelstrom in his chest. When he said nothing else, Monica stood.

“I should get back downstairs to help make fairy crowns.”

He grunted a response, and she retreated down the row and headed toward the stairs at the back of the hall.

He returned to watching the love of his life direct the rehearsal. Emma was sitting in the front row of the side section of seats with her head down, working on a friendship bracelet that was pinned to her tights. She glanced up and saw him looking at her, responding with a happy wave. He smiled and waved back, and she went back to her knot-tying.

Caleb felt like he was being torn in two. No matter what he chose—follow Emma, or follow Delanie—he would be leaving half his heart with the other. And who would help with the farm if he left? Neither of his brothers-in-law were farmers. They wouldn’t have the first clue. And Isaac had never wanted to be a farmer. As soon as he had finished his engineering degree, he’d gotten a job with an oil company and had worked out of their Calgary headquarters for the last three years. The last thing he would want to do was give that up to move back to Peace Crossing so he could milk cows and bale hay.

Caleb pressed his palms into his eyes. Why, God? Why can’t anything be easy for once?

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Delanie sat at her parent’s kitchen table with her laptop open before her, her heart pounding with excitement. After supper had been cleaned up, her parents had gone to the next room to watch TV, and she had decided to catch up on email while she waited for Caleb to pick her up for a coffee date at Tim Hortons. She read Tessa’s email again, hardly daring to breathe.

Dear Ms. Fletcher,

Marie Daramola gave me your email address and said it would be fine to contact you this way. She mentioned your work with your local community theatre, a subject about which I am also passionate. I am working on a new project to benefit community theatre groups and develop young actors that I think you would be perfect for, and I would love to have a meeting to discuss the particulars. The project is experimental and the budget won’t be large, but if all goes well, it could lead to future work for both of us.

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