“He walked out of a meeting yesterday and hasn’t taken my calls since.” I huff. “We had a moment of creative difference.”
I feel the judgemental stare from my closest friend before I see it. Ava has a talent for that—emitting her feelings so strongly, you don’t even need to see her to know what she’s thinking.
“What?” I shrug. “I’m the boss, he knows that.”
“And Eric has been with you since the beginning. You should give his opinions more weight.”
I place the glasses in the sink. “One, I hired him as a freelancer on the first project so he didn’t have any skin in the game then. No pun intended. And two, now he’s my employee. I don’t have to play nice to avoid hurting his feelings. This is a business.Mybusiness. Do you think anyone would be concerned about the strength of my opinions if I were a man?”
Ava raises an eyebrow. “You can have strong opinions, Wonder Woman. But a good leader makes her people feel heard, even if she doesn’t agree with them.”
She’s right, of course. But... Well, the competitive streak isn’t my only personality flaw. My verbal filter is about as effective as a drinking glass made of tissue paper, and I have a tendency to bulldoze my way through things until I get what I want. Can I blame that on the four older brothers, too?
“I’ll apologise,” I grumble. “But I still maintain I was right. I respect Eric—he’s a fantastic illustrator—but the concept drawings are pointless if they don’t get the right tone across, even if theyarebeautiful.”
Which they were. Eric’s artistic talent is second to none, which is why he’s on my team. I only hire the best.
“It comes from a good place, Em.” Ava places a hand on my shoulder. “I know you want this one to pay dividends.”
“It’s not just the money,” I say. “The first game was such a phenomenal success I thought I’d cracked some code. But the second one...”
Many artists deal with the “sophomore slump” where their second project underwhelms compared to the first. It could be the new experience of working under a tight deadline, the pressure of knowing people are watching to see if it fails. And, of course, I’ve lain awake so many nights wondering if that first game is theonlygood idea I’ll ever have.
Maybe it’s some fluke I’ll never recreate.
Lord knows there were plenty of game reviewers and vloggers who said that, andworse, after the second game came out. Talk about a blow to a gal’s confidence.
If I can’t prove myself this time, it could all be over. Investors won’t give me the money I need for future projects if my sales don’t stack up, and I can’t publish my games if I have to partner with a company who’ll whittle down my creative control with contractual fine print. In my head, if this game is a flop, then... I’m done.
I don’t want to be done. But I alsodon’thave an endless supply of cash to do what I love without worrying whether it’s financially viable.
“Em, it will be amazing. The second game...”
“Sucked.” I slump back against the kitchen cabinets.
“It wasn’t what you’d hoped,” she says gently. This is why Ava’s little students love her so much—she has a calming way about her. “But you learnedso muchfrom that project. You made mistakes that will mean this next game is better planned and executed.”
I swallow. “Thanks.”
I want so badly for this game to succeed that the pressure chokes me sometimes. I feel it like a python closing around me, hissing in my ear that I’m never going to pull this off. Which is a red flag to a bull; it makes me push harder and aim higher. But it also makes me a rigid perfectionist who gets stuck on her own ideas and exacting standards.
“Iwasa bit of a jerk to Eric,” I admit with a sigh. “I’d just read another review that got in my head—”
“Emery Marie Daniels!” Ava is in full angry-teacher mode now. “How many times have I told younotto read those things? The game is out and you’ve moved on to another project. Reading the reviews is only a form of self-torture at this point.”
“I know,” I groan, scrubbing my hands over my face. “It’s a compulsion.”
“WWJD?”
No, not What WouldJesusDo? It’s What Would J. Lo Do? Beyoncé also works. Or Gaga. Badass ladies who attack their work with creativity, and confidence, and stamina.
“Do you think she sits around reading reviews of her movies and shows? No! She gets her perfect butt back into her tiny costumes and she belts her heart out with conviction. She gets towork.”
I nod. “You’re right. I need to get my head back in the game.”
“Yes, you do.” Ava reaches in and gives me a hug. “No more reading reviews, okay?”
“I promise.”