Page 28 of Say Yes

17

CASEY

The soundof my alarm clock blaring had me bolting upright in bed. I hurriedly hit the off button as I realized I was in my own room, still fully dressed. Minus my shoes. I didn’t even remember going to bed last night. But then, everything came rushing back to me. The panic attack at Sully’s and then after with Philip. Mortification rushed through me. I couldn’t believe how forward I’d been. I mean I’d dry humped his thigh, for god’s sake. Then, he touched me and made me orgasm. I shielded my eyes with my arm and groaned.

A knock at the door scared me, and I screeched like a howler monkey. The door cracked open, and Philip poked his head in.

“Good morning. I made you breakfast. Come on out when you’re ready.” Then, he was gone.

I got up, took a quick shower and brushed my teeth. When I entered the kitchen, Philip sat at the table, drinking a cup of coffee.

“Hey, have a seat.” He rose and started plating food for me at the stove.

Bacon, eggs, and toast with jelly graced my plate. Then came the coffee and a glass of orange juice. Man, a girl could get used to this.

“Did you sleep okay?”

I finished chewing my food before answering. “I slept well. Did you…um, stay here all night?”

“No, I went home, but came back about an hour ago. I figured you’d be hungry when you woke. You fell asleep pretty early last night, and you hadn’t eaten for a while.”

“Oh, okay, thanks.” I was actually a little disappointed he hadn’t spent the night.

Philip made his own plate, and we ate in companionable silence. He was done eating first and was just finishing washing his plate when I took my last bite. I joined him at the sink. I stumbled over my words.

“Thanks, um, for last night.”

He grinned. “It was my pleasure.”

I flushed at his double entendre. “So, where do we go from here?”

He set the plate in the drainer and turned toward me, leaning his hip against the counter, and crossed his arms. “I assume we go to the same place we were heading when we began this journey. Unless you want off the train. Then, we go back to being Philip and Casey, friends for life.”

I nervously played with the end of my ponytail. “Is that where you want to go? Back to being just friends?”

Philip reached out to cup my jaw, his thumb rubbing across my cheekbone. “No, not at all. I’m on this ride for as far as it takes us. Even if it never stops. Do you understand?”

I tried to read into his words. If the ride never stopped, then that meant forever. Was he saying he loved me? After the epiphany that hit me last night, I didn’t think I could go back to being just friends. Not since realizing that, after all this time, I was in love with him.

I didn’t know what to say, so I tried to convey my feelings another way. I took his hand from my face and laid it over my heart, covering it with mine. “I hope the ride never stops.”

Keeping his hand on my heart, I moved closer and stood on tiptoes, pulling his head down to me. Our lips met for the briefest kiss before I wrapped my arms tightly around him and laid my head on his chest, breathing in his smell. It felt like coming home.

* * *

As though we’dboth bared our hearts during our conversation over breakfast, there was a subtle shift in our relationship. Instead of Philip only coming three days a week, we spent every day together. We both still had to work, and I had my studies, but he came over every evening, and we made dinner together. One night, we ventured out to the grocery store together, which was interesting to say the least. I made it through without any major incident, but I was a sweaty, clammy mess by the time we got back to the truck.

Another night we went to the movies, sitting in the front row, right next to the emergency exit. Not once did Philip complain of a neck ache even though he’d spent two hours with it cranked back so he could watch the screen. We even went back to Sully’s a couple times, where he and Philip taught me how to play darts. I was definitely making progress in battling my agoraphobia. My goal was to walk across that stage at graduation and get my damn degree. I had over a month to battle my demons and win.

Philip and I also started becoming more intimate. We still hadn’t made love, but we spent our nights learning each other’s body. We’d taken things slow over the last couple weeks, and we’d only had to stop what was happening once due to a panic attack. Everything we did was for my pleasure, with Philip giving me orgasm after orgasm. I was gaining confidence and becoming bolder in asking for what I wanted. For instance, tonight I wanted to try something new. I wanted to be the one to give him pleasure instead.

Philip had brought over Chinese takeout for supper. We sat on pillows on the floor around the coffee table with slow, romantic music playing in the background. I turned the lights down and lit candles all around the room. The smell of apples from the wall air freshener was faint beneath the aroma of dim sum and orange chicken. Philip had tried teaching me how to use chopsticks, but my skills were hopelessly lacking and didn’t appear to be improving anytime soon. As I repeatedly dropped my piece of chicken, I gave up. Snatching up my fork, I dug in.

“I think this even tastes better using a fork.” I moaned as the citrus burst of orange peel spread across my taste buds. “I’m not meant to use chopsticks, I’m afraid.”

Philip pulled his noodles out of the little cardboard box like a pro with the wooden sticks, sending me a mocking salute with them.

“Yeah, yeah, bask in your skill. Some of us are just not as adept with their hands.”

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