“There’s more? Because I thought you were pretty thorough there. Then again, I’m sure if you thought really hard, you could find some other thing to be pissed off at me about.”
“Don’t be flippant, Philip. I’m already irritated enough with you.”
Casey was adorable with her little pout. Plus, her crossed arms pushed her boobs up nicely. Add in the heaving chest to her perturbed attitude, and I was mildly turned on. If she could read my mind, it would be one more tick of her fingers. So, I acted the repentant. She was right though. There was a lot I needed to apologize for.
“Well, I’m here now. You want to talk, let’s talk.”
She seemed flustered for a moment before gathering her composure. I don’t think she expected me to be quite so direct. But she obviously had a lot to get off her chest.
“Can we sit?”
“Lead the way.” I gestured toward the living room.
Casey took her regular spot on the couch, legs curled underneath her, while I sat in the chair opposite, ankle crossed over opposite knee. I sensed her disappointment that I hadn’t occupied the other end of the sofa. She fidgeted a bit, her hand smoothing her hair, as she plucked at a fabric pill on the arm of the couch.
She cleared her throat before speaking. “You made me cuss.”
That was the first thing she was gonna bust my balls about? I guess it was better than talking about what had happened on Tuesday night. Although I’m sure she was just getting started.
I nodded solemnly. “So I did.”
“I don’t remember ever cussing before. Ever. So you have to realize how mad I am at you, especially since you completely ignored me yesterday. Which is why you need to apologize.”
Fine. Sometimes you had to pick your battles. I was saving my battling for the next conversation. “I’m sorry I made you cuss, Casey. And for the record, I didn’t intentionally ignore you yesterday. I was on Uncle duty.”
She narrowed her eyes and studied me while I tried not to squirm under her regard. Seemingly satisfied with what she saw, she nodded primly. “Oh. Well, thank you for apologizing anyway.” She paused for breath before continuing. “Now that we have that out of the way, we need to talk about earlier this week. You really hurt me, Philip.”
I inwardly flinched. “I know. I moved too quickly, and it was entirely my fault.”
Casey shook her head. “Don’t be dense. You know that’s not it at all. You hurt me by walking out. I know you said we’d do things your way, but if I remember correctly, you also told me that if you did anything to scare me, we’d re-evaluate. Well, I’m pretty sure there was no re-evaluating the situation. You declared we were done and that was that. You didn’t bother to take my feelings into consideration, which was extremely selfish. I’ve had far too many selfish people in my life. My mother, my father. It can’t work that way Philip. I have to have a say in this too. Especially because I’m sure this won’t be the first, or last, hiccup.”
Damn, I hated that she was right. It hadn’t been fair of me, but she didn’t understand what it had done to me to see her completely crawl inside herself. She hadn’t even been in that room the moments after those stupid words escaped me. She’d completely checked out, and it had scared the shit out of me. I’d panicked. My stomach had dropped, bile had risen to my throat, and my heartbeat had pounded in my ears. It was one of the worst moments in my life.
“You’re right. It was more about me than you. It was difficult, to say the least, seeing you like that though. You want me to take your feelings into consideration, but you also have to do the same for mine. I’ve seen a lot of things in my life, Casey. I’ve been to war and have seen things that haunt my nightmares. However, none of them destroyed me like Tuesday night did. I apologize that I left the way I did, but at that moment, it was the only thing I could do.”
Her expression was slightly shame-faced. “I guess I didn’t look at it that way. It seems as though I should be apologizing to you as well then. I’m sorry. You’re my best friend, Philip. We should be able to talk about these things. There’s only so much I can talk to Josie about, you know.”
Now I moved from the chair and slid onto the couch next to her, taking her hand in mine. It was so small, and she trembled a little at my touch. “It might take me a few days to calm down, but no matter what happens between us, you can always talk to me Casey. Always. Even when I’m an asshole.”