I gave him a once over as my cheeks heated, especially when he reached for my hand again. Philip certainly had a thing for that. Not that I was complaining.
As we strolled toward the entrance, I couldn’t help wondering. “I have a question. If this place has been shut down for so long, how are we going to get in?”
Philip wiggled his eyebrows at me. “Oh, ye of little faith.”
“I’m not going to have to call my sister to bail us out of jail, am I?”
He snorted. “Not hardly. I called in a few favors from a buddy of mine who knows the former owner. He unlocked the gates for us and said we could hang out for a couple hours, but then he’d have to lock up again. So, for the next two hours, we have the whole park to ourselves. Not that any of the rides are even hooked up anymore, but I have the perfect spot for our picnic lunch.”
Once inside the park, my gaze took everything in. I imagined the place back in its heyday with teenagers and parents with their small children strolling along. I almost heard the screams and laughter of ride-goers as they were whipped around on the roller coaster. I pictured their eyes watering and hair blowing, as they held on for dear life while the ride plunged them in to an unknown abyss. This place must have been amazing. My heart ached to see it in such disrepair.
I gasped when I spotted the giant carousel in front of us. It reminded me of the musical snow globe Josie had bought me when she went away to college, shortly after it started happening. “It” being the fact that from thirteen to fourteen, my father had “gifted” me to one of his business associates who was partial to young girls. I purged the unpleasant memory and focused on how less alone the tiny little carousel horse had made me feel. Every night before I went to sleep, I’d turn the knob and shake it up and watch the snow and glitter dance around the bobbing horse. Even for an almost fourteen year-old, it was magical.
This was the first one I’d ever seen up close, and tears filled my eyes. It was just as majestic in the flesh as I’d imagined, no matter how old and battered it appeared. It signified a time in my life when I desperately needed a friend, and that single horse inside that glittery snow globe was the only one I had.
“Casey, hon, what’s wrong?” Philip stepped in front of me, effectively blocking the carousel from my view, concern written across his face. He reached up to swipe away a tear I hadn’t realized I’d shed.
I hastily wiped away the rest of them with a self-deprecating laugh. “God, you must think I’m being silly, crying at the sight of a stupid ride. It’s nothing, really.”
“Hey,” he whispered, “it’s obviously something important, to cause that kind of reaction. I don’t think you’re being silly at all. Do you—do you want to tell me what happened?”
I shook my head, taking in a shuddering breath. “Not really. Not today at least. I want today to be all about happiness. And being here, with you, makes me happy. So, let’s have a picnic.”
Philip studied me for another minute, waiting for me to change my mind, maybe. But I was resolute in my decision. I didn’t want anything to ruin this afternoon by talking about the past. Now that I was actually out of the house, and here, excitement filled me. This was living. I was doing something completely, and utterly, normal. And aside from a few tears and a brief trip down memory lane I’d rather not have had, this was part of what I’d wanted from Philip, even if I hadn’t known it. It was finally occurring to me that there was more than just sex that I needed to erase. I’d asked for his help to create new memories. And today was a day I would remember forever.