Page 90 of Tempting the Earl

“The future you describe for Caillie does not exclude you,” he noted.

“Of course it does,” she retorted.

With a rough sigh and a gentle shove of her hands to his chest, she pushed him to the side as she rolled away and rose gracefully from the bed. “I’m sure she’ll visit me on holidays and such and we’ll tramp about Faeglen together like old times. But she’s part of your family now.”

Naked, she crossed to where a robe was draped over a chair near the tub. As she swept it around her lovely figure—her movements stiff with emotion she was trying not to show—Colin sat and turned to face her, planting his feet on the floor and bracing his hands atop his thighs.

After tying the robe’s sash securely around her waist, she lifted her still-damp hair from beneath the robe and let it fall down her back in glorious auburn waves.

He was unbelievably tempted to stand and walk toward her so he could delve his hands into the warm richness of her hair, but he held himself still. The conversation at hand was far more important than submitting to his constant desire to touch her.

It took significant effort to keep his tone even as he noted, “I’d believed you were coming to see yourself as a part of this family, as well.”

She gave a short little laugh accompanied by a dismissive wave of her hand. “I dinnae belong here, Colin. Surely, that’s obvious.”

He wished he could see her face just then, but she seemed determined to keep her back to him. “It’s not obvious at all.”

“I did my best by the lass,” she said in a lowered voice. “I didnae ken what I was doing half the time and faked it the other half, but I tried to be a good...a good mother to her.”

Colin’s throat tightened at the emotion in her voice. How could she possibly doubt her worth in that regard? “Caillie is blessed to have you, Ainsworth. She’s intelligent, compassionate, endlessly confident, and she loves you more than anything. Surely, you know that.”

She bowed her head for a moment—the only indication that she’d heard what he said— but then she gave a little shake of her head. “In fact,” she continued with a distinct note of stubbornness in her tone, “it might be time for me to start thinking of heading back to Dumfriesshire.”

“What?” He rose to his feet in a rush. The note of objection in his voice must have surprised her as she turned back to face him with wide eyes.

There was a poignant pause as her gaze slid over his naked form before bouncing back up to his face, which he struggled to keep from revealing just how intensely her casual statement bothered him.

“Well, I only came along to ensure Caillie’s well-being.” Though she smiled, there was an undeniable hint of tension about her mouth. “I think a part of me always kent the lass couldnae be mine forever. It’s the reason your arrival in our lives shook me so deeply. But I no longer have any doubt as to your dedication to her comfort and safety. Which makes my presence here feel a wee bit...superfluous.”

His chest clenched so tightly he nearly had to gasp for breath. Just barely, he managed to control his reaction, to contain his sudden distress beneath the surface. Surely, she didn’t believe what she said. Surely, he hadn’t been so utterly wrong in what he’d thought was between them. Could his feelings have been so one-sided? Unease twisted through his stomach. Had he been so very wrong to hope she wanted the same thing he did?

He suddenly felt extremely exposed standing here. Naked. Emotional. And now, confused. Throughout his life, he’d experienced countless moments of uncertainty—moments designed by his father to prove his lack of worth, to convince him he was nothing without his father’s acknowledgement. He’d eventually closed himself off to the innate desire for acceptance. For love. For a true family.

Yet, he’d allowed himself to believe he might have somehow found exactly that. With his siblings. And with her. His heart a lead weight in his chest, he steeled himself against the rise of pain inside him.

Ainsworth stood silently watching him with her head tilted slightly to one side and her arms folded across her chest. She was waiting for him to speak. And for just a second, he thought he detected a hesitant uncertainty in her manner.

He forced himself to meet her focused gaze and felt a jolt of connection. A shock of longing deep in his core. A rush of desire that only continued to grow more poignant. And more deeply connected to his heart.

He desperately wanted her to stay, but only if it were truly her choice. He would never force his own wishes on her or anyone. With all that had occurred between them in the last few days, he’d convinced himself she wanted him as passionately as he wanted her. If he’d been wrong... Though it hurt like hell, if she wanted to leave, he’d find a way to accept that.

Clearing his throat, he clasped his wrist behind his back. “I could never define you as superfluous. As I said, I’d hoped you’d come to see yourself as much a part of this family as anyone else.” He couldn’t stop his gaze from flickering briefly to the floor, but he brought it back up quickly and gave a short nod. “But if it is your desire to leave, I shall do what I can to make it a smooth departure.”

He thought he saw her eyes narrow as she repeated softly, “A smooth departure?” Then she abruptly turned around and walked to the vanity, where she picked up a hairbrush and began to pull it through her hair.

Colin scowled at her back before forcing his expression back to a flat effect. Her movements were obviously tense and her tone had sounded undeniably...piqued.

“Did I say something wrong?” he asked stiffly.

“Oh, not at all, my lord. What on earth could be wrong? You’re being so verra gracious to lend your assurances of a smooth departure.”

She was definitely irritated.

“You’re upset,” he stated somewhat unnecessarily as a scowl weighed down his brow once again. He didn’t bother to force it away. “Yet I’m not sure I understand why. You just said you wanted to leave.”

She whipped her head around to pin him with a fierce stare. “Did I? Did I say I wanted that?”

Didn’t she?

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