Page 48 of Tender Blackguard

There was a lengthy pause before she finally replied in a low voice that blended perfectly with the darkened atmosphere around them. “Questions to your nature, my lord.”

Alastair stiffened. “My nature is none of your concern.”

“But it is,” she argued. “You’re shrouded in secrets and shadow. And it’s clear you prefer it that way. What are you so desperate to hide?”

Against his better judgment, he lowered his head toward hers, close enough to feel her breath fanning gently across his jaw. “Things you’re far better off never, ever discovering.”

She didn’t reply. Long enough for him to feel her take two steadying breaths. Long enough to note a shift in her stance, a slight softening of her spine. Then a heavy murmur. “And you’d be better off not underestimating me. I’m not easily frightened.”

A deep thrill rolled through him as her words conjured things in his mind that he’d fought for weeks to keep dormant. Thoughts of pulling her closer despite their already too close position. A desire to slide his hand up her spine to her nape. A need to feel her warm, sweet breath bathing his lips...her tongue seeking his...

“I’ve read your notes. About Dryden and his friends,” she stated. “You’ve been observing them. Learning their habits, studying their homes. Why?”

Her words pulled him from his pleasurable imaginings to find that her spine was tense beneath his hand and that her fingers had curled into the material of his coat sleeve. She was determined. And fearless. And passionate in her pursuit of truths that might be better off unknown.

He clenched his jaw as he realized just how badly he wanted to give her the answers she craved. He wanted to help her. But he couldn’t allow her to get any deeper into this mess than she was already. If someone else had happened to come upon her at Dryden’s or anywhere else she’d probably been snooping about, her life would be forfeit. But likely not until after they’d used her for their entertainment.

“I think I know what you’re trying to do. Although I’ve decided to believe your declaration that you know nothing of Harriet specifically, I also believe you know far more than you’ve admitted. There is more going on with Dryden and his friends than one missing maid, isn’t there?”

When he said nothing, she continued urgently, her voice heavy with desperation, “Don’t you understand? I must find out what happened.”

With a low sound of frustration, he grasped her shoulders in his hands and harshly provided the truth she needed to hear. “You’re right. Your friend is not the first housemaid to go missing, but you’ve no idea what you’re up against. These men have a combined wealth and power beyond your imagining. They command the authorities like marionettes. Their influence reaches all the way to the palace, and they’ve proven themselves willing to go to extensive lengths to protect their security and their secrecy. They’re untouchable and very, very dangerous. Especially to someone like you.”

“Someone like me?” she asked sharply.

Alastair clenched his jaw. He’d said far too much. Revealed too much.

“You mean a woman with limited means, no family, no one to question if I were to suddenly disappear?”

He didn’t want to acknowledge that was exactly what he meant. But the truth was the brotherhood intentionally preyed upon women of less fortunate circumstances.

Rather than being dissuaded by his warning, she sounded angry as she replied, “You think I don’t know the place I hold in this world? It was made clear the day I was abandoned on a bloody doorstep. I’m dispensable. Forgettable.”

“You’re not.”

“Of course I am. But it doesn’t matter—”

His hands tightened on her shoulders. He hated the self-critical tone in her voice. It was clear that she fully believed what she said.

He knew what it was to go through life believing your existence didn’t matter, or worse, that it was an abomination. He simply couldn’t allow her to believe such nonsense for another moment.

“If that were the slightest bit true,” he noted thickly, “you wouldn’t have gone to the lengths you have to find your friend. You’d never have discovered this passage.” He lowered his head to add the greatest truth of all. “And you wouldn’t haunt my thoughts as you do. I wouldn’t...feel so much the moment you enter a room.”

Though his words had dropped to a low, barely audible whisper, the silence that followed his confession was perfectly deafening.

He shouldn’t have said it. Shouldn’t have admitted so much.

It was shockingly inappropriate. He was her employer. Her position in his household made her vulnerable. And saying what he just did...dammit, he was no better than his sire.

With a rough sound, he released her and straightened, pressing back against the wall. Trying to give her space to flee as she no doubt would. As she should.

Frustrated with himself and his lack of restraint, it took him a moment to realize she hadn’t moved.

Alastair peered down at her through the darkness. His sight had adjusted enough to see only the bare outline of her form. He couldn’t tell as she looked up at him if her expression was one of fear, disgust, or anger.

“What do you feel when I walk in the room?” she whispered.

Alastair’s body tensed painfully as he clenched his teeth.

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