Page 91 of Tender Blackguard

As the last shudders faded away, he carefully lowered himself to her side. She couldn’t stop the small sound of protest from escaping her throat as he withdrew from her body, but he immediately pulled her into the circle of his arms. They lay there in silence with her back curved against his chest while their sweat cooled and their breath slowed.

Words danced around behind her lips, but she couldn’t say them. How could she say she loved him and then try to convince him to let her go? It was better to say nothing at all, despite how the weight of her emotions made it feel as though her heart were drowning.

After a time, he broke the quiet surrounding them. “If you wish to leave, I won’t force you to stay.”

Though his words made her heart seize, it was the tone of his voice that hurt the most. There was a hollow acceptance in the way he spoke, as though he’d never really believed she’d want to be with him. It tore at her heart and she forced herself to hold back the sobs rising from her chest. He wouldn’t understand why she cried, and she wouldn’t be able to tell him without confessing everything.

“But if you stay...” he whispered heavily, “I’d devote every second of my life to your happiness.”

Lark breathed deeply to maintain her resolve and speak with a conviction he’d believe. “I know you would. As long as possible anyway. But someday, you’d have to marry and then I’d...”

The words thickened in her throat and she couldn’t finish, but he’d already responded with a growl of frustration as he rose up on his elbow and rolled her to her back. She couldn’t avoid his dark, intense visage as he loomed over her.

“What are you saying?” His tone was hard and blunt.

Lark refused to close her eyes as she said the rest. “I won’t put myself through that, Alastair. If I stay with you now, the pain of leaving will be infinitely deeper when it inevitably becomes necessary.”

He laid his palm against the side of her face. “Then save us both the pain and promise never to leave me.”

Though tears threatened, she boldly, bravely met his stare. “You’d have me watch from the shadows while you choose a bride and father her children?” His body tensed sharply and his eyes flashed with sudden temper. But now that she started unloading her fears, she couldn’t stop. “Would you keep me on as housekeeper in your family household? Or set me up in a little house nearby where you’d only come to visit when your family is away?”

The harsh growl that issued from his throat finally urged her into silence. With a look of fury hardening his features, he shoved to his feet and walked away.

Lark drew deep breaths, feeling more vulnerable and uncertain than she ever had in her life. Sitting up, she realized she still wore her corset and chemise, and she bent her knees to pull them close to her chest as she wrapped her arms protectively around her legs. From the corner of her eye, she could see him picking up his clothes.

He was furious and he was leaving.

Though she knew it had to happen, it still broke her heart. She just needed to hold it together for a little longer. Once he was gone, she’d allow the wrenching sadness to claim her. But not yet. Breathing deeply through her nose, she kept her gaze focused pointedly on the carpet in front of her as she listened for the door to open then close behind him.

When he suddenly crouched in front of her, her heart jolted in surprise. He’d put his breeches on but nothing else, and in his hand was a folded piece of paper. As he unfolded it, he captured her gaze. “I obtained this three days ago. Though I refused to do anything until my father’s legacy was fully put to rest, I had no intention of waiting a second longer than necessary.” He handed her the document, and it took her only a moment to see it was a special license for marriage. “If you want a proper engagement, I can force myself to be patient. But I love you more than I ever imagined possible, and I’d rather not wait another day to take you as my wife.”

She didn’t realize she’d started shaking her head until he reached for her, pulling her onto his lap as he sat back on his heels. Her legs parted naturally around his hips, and his hands gripped forcefully to her buttocks, hauling her in as close as he could get her.

“Don’t say no,” he pleaded roughly.

She looked into his eyes and could barely form the words she had to say. “I can’t marry you. You’re a marquess and I’m—”

“Everything,” he insisted as he doubled his arms around her.

“I’m a servant,” she argued despite the insistent spark of hope that was steadily expanding within her. “It isn’t done.”

“It will be.” One of his hands smoothed up her spine to cradle the back of her head. “Just tell me you love me,” he demanded gruffly.

She realized then that he didn’t know. He didn’t know how madly, completely, and hopelessly in love with him she was.

Dropping the license, she framed his face in her hands and stared intently into his eyes. “I love you with every bit of my being. Every breath. Every beat of my heart. And with every hope and fear I possess. I love you, Alastair.”

He tightened his grip around her body. “Marry me—today—and I’ll devote the rest of my life to becoming worthy of your love.”

“You have nothing to prove. You’re worth so much more than you know.”

His fingers fisted in her hair. “Is that a yes?”

Though shock still made her feel as though the moment couldn’t possibly be real, she managed a quick nod before he brought her mouth to his for a stirring kiss that impassioned her blood and quickly had her aching for more. When he slid his lips to the sensitive skin of her neck, she rocked needfully against his hardness as she gasped a request. “Would you consider putting off the wedding for just a couple hours?”

His answer was a rough growl that tingled through her blood as he lifted her in his arms and carried her to the bed.

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