Page 42 of Because I Could Not Stop for Death

Miss Lavinia sat across from her sister in the middle of her bench, making it clear that I was not welcome on that side of the cabin.

I sat next to Emily. “Thank you.”

Emily studied me. “Look at you. You’re as tight as a drum. Have you not traveled before?”

I shook my head. “I’ve not gone anywhere. Do you travel often?” I asked.

She glanced at me. “No. I have all that I need right here. I do not have the taste for travel.”

I didn’t know if she meant right here as in Amherst or something else. When Emily spoke, I always thought there was a second meaning to her words. My understanding of what they meant was never going to be clear, and Emily wasn’t one to stop and explain her meaning to me or anyone else. If a person was brilliant like Susan Gilbert, perhaps she would be able to understand all of what Emily said.

I was not brilliant. I was a simple housemaid who had been caught up in something larger than myself, something that was larger than Henry, for it had entrapped him and led to his death. Maybe it was wise to leave it all alone and let the dead bury the dead. Then I thought back to Henry’s journal entry that I had read and the woman named Belinda. He had saved a person. Was it that act or ones like it that cost him his life?

Emily’s voice broke into my thoughts. “I’m making this trip for my father, and...” she trailed off.

I knew her second reason, which was to spy on Mr.Johnson. While we had been on the platform, I looked for him but did not see him. I hoped he was in fact on this train. If he wasn’t, I was on the trip with the Dickinsons for no reason at all.

I looked out the window then, and to my surprise, I saw Mr.Johnson on the platform. He wore a long overcoat and a black bowler hat with a brown feather attached to the brim.

The stable owner looked around the platform with a gaze that said he was taking in every detail around him. His mouth twisted in a small crooked line. People on the platform stepped out of the way to let him pass. He gave off an air of someone that you didn’t block from his purpose.

I glanced at Emily, and she was chatting with Miss Lavinia. She didn’t know that Mr.Johnson was on the platform. I bit my lip. When I looked back to where Mr.Johnson had stood, he was gone.

The train whistled again. The conductor shouted, “All aboard!” The closed window in our cabin muffled his cry, but it could still be heard. People hugged loved ones and waved. The platform cleared. The train jerked once and pulled away from the station.

There was a catch in my heart as I saw Amherst Station disappear. It was as if I lost something in that moment, but I could not for the life of me understand what it was.

The train picked up speed, and the town dissolved completely into farmland and forest. I settled back into my seat. There was no getting off now. At least for the next fortnight, I would be away from home. It felt like a wild thing to be traveling so fast and so far. It would take two days on the train to make it to Washington.

Miss Lavinia removed needlepoint from her case. She was working on a sampler. Shutting the case, she said, “I don’t know why you brought that maid with you. We do not need her to make our way to Washington. She’s too young for anyone to consider her a chaperone. She’s younger than I am!”

“Vinnie,” Emily said in a soothing voice, “Willa will be very helpful when we are in the city. She can carry our shopping bags and make arrangements for us. It will save us a great deal of time.”

Miss Lavinia folded her arms across her traveling suit. “Did you ask Father if she could come?”

“There was no time to write him about it. When Father is away, Austin is in charge of the family, and he said that it was all right for Willa to come.”

It was not lost on me that they both spoke like I wasn’t even there.

“Austin,” Miss Lavinia snorted. “We will be lucky if he even made the train.”

“He’s on the train,” Emily said with full confidence. “Austin likes to test boundaries, but when it comes right down to it, he wants to make Father proud.”

“If that is the case, why is he thinking of moving west after he’s done at Cambridge?”

“He’s just pushing boundaries again. He and Susan will never permanently leave Amherst. They can’t.” She sighed. “In any case, I paid for Willa’s ticket, so it should be no wonder at all why Willa is here. I had some prize money stashed away from the bread and cakes competitions I won over the years.”

“There are much better ways to spend that money,” Miss Lavinia grumbled. “Just take note that Father won’t be happy with all of this. Father believes that he has to be asked first and needs to approve all things. I thought you would have learned that by the age of twenty-four.”

“You say this because you are afraid to push him. I push him just far enough. Believe me, it makes a difference. As for Willa, there is nothing to worry about. Willa barely eats a crumb, and she can sleep on the floor in our room if necessary. Having her with us on the trip will be of no consequence to Father.

One of her statements was wrong. I ate much more than a crumb. I wasn’t a small, light thing like the Dickinson girls. I very much hoped that she was only making a point with her sister that I wouldn’t have very much to eat.

Miss Lavinia snorted and saw me there open-mouthed. “Have you been listening to us the whole time?” she snapped.

I stared at her. How could I not hear their conversation? “I—I—”

There was a knock at the cabin door.

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