Page 104 of Wild Fury (Fallen Royals 6)

Because it’s a scenario I’ve laid awake at night thinking about. What if she had stayed with me? Whichever DeSantis coerced her into leaving would’ve waited all night in an empty room. Maybe, if she thought I could love her, that would’ve been enough to convince her to stay.

Maybe I could’ve been enough.

But I was convinced I don’t have love in me.

That I’m fundamentally broken.

“Do you get it?” Eli says, stepping in close to me. “Do you get that this whole thing is your fault?”

My face flames, and I’ve never wanted to hit someone so much as my best friend. Smash his face into the side of the counter until he was bloody and fucking silent. I can see how I’d do it, how I’d shake Liam loose and grab Eli.

I stare at him until he can feel the force of my silent threat.

“Stop,” Caleb calls. “Eli, Jesus, just back off.”

I step away, striding down the hall and slamming the door of my bedroom. I feel like screaming. If Lux were here, she’d say to just do it: scream. Let out the anger. The past two years, I’ve kept such a tight hold on it.

She was the only person I trusted to see it and not run for the hills. She pulled it out of me, a magnet to the toxins in my blood. The unfortunate truth is that I’ve been festering in my anger, letting it get the best of me.

No one wants to touch me on the football field.

People give me a wide berth in classes, passing me on the field.

I can’t breathe with how much this sucks.

“Theo.” Caleb cracks the door. “She’s close. If she didn’t come up to Boston, she was at least in Rose Hill. We can find her.”

That wasn’t a come find me like every other time she’s taken my car. She stole it and planted it back at my house for one reason: to say goodbye. To tell me to give up.

“I can’t do this,” I admit. “I can’t just keep existing like this. I’m going fucking crazy.”

He nods and leans against the doorframe. “You’re not alone. When Margo…”

I glance up. His jaw is tight, and he can’t speak for a moment. He very clearly loves her.

“When Margo was taken, I thought I’d find her dead. And… I was convinced I would just die right along with her. My whole world was based on my anger at her, and that shifted to love before I realized it.” He doesn’t move toward me, but his voice drops. “I don’t think Lux is giving up on you. I think she’s scared of all the bullshit surrounding her.”

I shudder. “She’s never been scared.”

“They told her something to keep her away. Threatened that she’d be arrested, maybe, if she didn’t start over as a new person. Maybe they threatened you.” His eyes wander to my dresser.

Damn it if I don’t have her portfolio there. It’s closed. I haven’t flipped through it in a while, and there’s a light layer of dust on top. I scoured every picture for myself. I just wanted to know how she saw me.

But there was nothing but an empty sleeve halfway through.

Whatever it was, she took it with her.

“She doesn’t have anyone.” My gaze lifts. “Everyone she’s ever depended on left her.”

“Not you,” he points out.

I grimace. Even now, two years later, I can still remember our kiss. Sometimes I feel it when I’m half asleep, picturing her weight curled against my side. A pipe dream that will never become my reality.

I don’t deserve that.

“I told Liam and Eli to get out of here,” he says. “So just… collect yourself and come out, and we can formulate a plan.”

He closes the door behind him, and I shudder again. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Why did I even come back to Boston? I could’ve stayed in Rose Hill, tried to find her.

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