Page 47 of Vicious Desire (Fallen Royals 4)

And maybe it does. It’s his armor.

We ride in silence for a while, and the random turns he makes becomes soothing.

I understand why children are rocked to sleep in a car.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks.

And ruins it.

“No.”

“It wasn’t because of me.”

I glance at him. “Not totally.”

He gets on the highway, and I ignore the tight grip he has on the steering wheel.

You hate him, I remind myself. This was just a matter of convenience, him still being on my porch. Him being here at all.

“Are you going to talk about it?”

I grunt and debate it. I could tell him, and he probably wouldn’t judge me.

But he doesn’t really deserve my truth, does he?

And me? What do I deserve?

I close my eyes. It doesn’t matter where we’re going. That part of my brain still trusts him, at least.

“It’s odd,” I murmur.

“What?”

“That I’m able to close my eyes around you.”

“You didn’t say what I did to deserve this shit, Riley. Hate to say I’ve been left in the dark, but…”

I snap my eyes open and tilt my head so I can watch him. His eyes stay trained on the road, but his attention is on me.

“Do you remember the summer between my freshman and sophomore year?”

He nods once. “How could I forget?”

“It changed everything.”

He scowls. “Me, too.”

“I thought that.” But he was just pretending.

Eli adjusts his grip and glances at me. “You made a mistake, you know.”

My stomach flips. “How?”

“You got in the car with me.” His eyes narrow. “And I’m not letting you out until you tell me what I want to know.”

I let out a long sigh.

Freshman year was a wash for me. Mom was in the hospital too much, on the verge of death, and Noah and I refused to leave her side. Well, I refused to leave her side—Noah went to school, to soccer practice, and slept at the hospital. We can hardly call that the same thing.

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