Page 40 of Don't Let Me Go (Don't Let Me 2)

It’s probably because I looked up to my brothers so much and wanted to be included in all their shenanigans, and thankfully, my parents took it in stride. They let me be who I wanted to be.

But I never wanted to be treated like a doll. I never wanted to be put on a pedestal or looked down upon simply because I had a vagina instead of a penis. I wanted to be an equal. A rival. Someone taken seriously. Someone who could give as good as they got.

And all I want in a partner is exactly that. Someone who accepts me. Someone who looks at me like I’m sexy and feminine even when I’m covered in grass stains from a quick game of football in the quad.

Is that so hard?

Actually, yes. Yes it is. Because other than my brother’s best friend, I haven’t found anyone who’s even remotely close to giving me those things.

But the fact Theo’s calling me out on it? Saying he knows what I really want in a guy? Especially when I’ve yet to find it myself?

It hits a little too close to home.

“Am I wrong?” he teases, the same cocky smirk tugging at his mouth, finding way too much amusement in watching me squirm.

“I think it’s rich coming from you,” I counter.

“Oh?”

“Yeah. How could you know what I want?” I laugh again, but it feels forced. “Honestly, I don’t even think you know what you want.”

“Oh?” Curiosity piqued, a slow smile builds on his lips. “And what do you think I want?”

“I think you like messing with girls who don’t matter to you because you won’t ever be rejected by them. Instead, you keep them at a distance under the guise of”––I lift my fingers and do air quotes––“spreading the love.”

His chuckle is cool at best, hinting at just how close I am to hitting my mark. “Is something wrong with spreading the love, Blake?”

“Not at all. But do you really think it’ll get you what you want in the long run?”

“A shit ton of orgasms and a memorable college experience before I go into the NHL?” He laughs a little harder and cups his hands behind his head, making himself more comfortable on the couch. “Yeah. I think that covers it.”

“You forgot about a plethora of STDs with a side of accidental pregnancy,” I quip.

He laughs again. But this time it’s warmer, deeper, more genuine. He grabs my knee and squeezes. The heat from his palm feels like the sun in the middle of summer. It’s hot. Almost scalding. So much so, my muscles tense beneath his touch, but I don’t pull away. Because I like being close to Theo. I always have.

Even when it hurts.

Like right now.

He didn’t deny it.

A shit ton of orgasms and a memorable college experience is all he wants.

And yet, here I am, fawning over the bastard.

I mean, I already knew the truth, but the confirmation is a harder pill to swallow.

Then again, maybe he’s onto something.

Maybe it’s what I need too. I’ll pass on the whole STD and accidental pregnancy part. But meaningless sex? It’s gotta feel better than this. This…rejection that isn’t even rejection because he was never mine in the first place.

“You know what? I think you may be onto something,” I decide. I stretch my legs out and rest them on the coffee table, hooking one ankle over the other.

He slides his attention down my legs, letting it land on my purple toenails. “Oh, you do?”

“Yeah. Meaningless sex definitely feels like the safer option compared to putting your heart on the line, right? I might have to give it a try.”

His gaze narrows as it slides back up my body and meets mine again. “Not sure you’re meaningless sex material.”

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