Page 104 of Don't Let Me Go (Don't Let Me 2)

Russ stops short and corrects himself. “Baby Thorne. Come on. Let’s get Burrows’ recovery started.”

Shit.

Did he see how close we’re standing? Does he see how pissed Theo is? Can he see how close I am to letting him kiss me in front of everyone after two tiny interactions?

Get a grip, girl.

I move to slip out from under Theo’s arm but catch Burrows watching me and freeze. His attention shifts to Theo, his jaw clenching as he looks at the ground and walks past us.

“I’m gonna talk to Coach,” Theo tells me.

My heart picks up its pace, and not in a good way. More like a your-butt-is-about-to-be-smacked kind of way.

Again, not the pleasant kind of smacking.

I shake my head and try to focus.

It’s a mistake. He shouldn’t talk to Coach. Not yet. Not until I’m sure. Not until we’re sure. About us. About whether or not this chemistry is long-lasting. About whether he’ll grow bored or distracted as soon as we come out as more than friends.

Keeping my voice low, I glare back at him and warn, “There’s nothing to talk about. Not yet.”

“Yeah, well, for me, there is.”

Losing my bravado, my eyes plead with his. But I don’t know if it’s because I’m scared of pissing off Coach or if it’s because I'm scared of making this thing with Theo real. Tangible. Boring.

For him. Not me.

What if he does grow bored? What if, once he’s gotten what he wanted, he doesn’t care anymore? He goes back to his old ways? It would wreck me beyond repair, and witnessing it firsthand during my internship? It would kill me.

I don’t want him to talk to Coach. I don’t want him to open a can of worms I’m not sure I can handle. I just want… Shit, I don’t know.

I don’t know. I don’t know what I want. I want confidence in my relationship––or whatever the hell this is––with Theo before I put my internship on the line. I want all of Theo. And I want it for the long haul. I don’t want to worry about puck bunnies or contracts with the NHL or anything else getting in the way of the happily-ever-after I’ve been dreaming about since I was a little girl.

And what I really don’t want? Is the possibility of making decisions when they’re too early. When this relationship is too early. It’s risky. Terrifying. And I’m afraid I’ll end up caught in the crosshairs because of it.

“It’s a bad idea, Theo,” I tell him.

“It’ll be fine. Coach is a good dude.”

I glance around the locker room, but everyone’s still too amped up on their win to notice us talking, let alone hear our conversation over the music blaring. Shifting my attention back to Theo, I whisper, “I don’t want to put my internship on the line yet. Will you please listen to me and wait? I’m not ready––”

“Baby Thorne!” Russ barks, his voice echoing from down the hall.

“I need to go. We’ll talk later, all right?” I slip out from beneath his arm without bothering to wait for his response and walk toward Russ’s office.

32

BLAKELY

Russ is already working on Graves’ shoulder as I walk into his office, my body still trembling from my interaction with Theo. When Russ sees me, he tilts his head toward Burrows resting on the cushioned black table in the corner of the room.

“Start with the foam roller. I’ll be over in a few.”

I grab the gray foam roller from the cabinet, giving Burrows a tight smile.

Stupid Graves and his stupid shoulder.

With one hand on the back of his neck, Burrows squeezes, his eyes glued to me. But he doesn’t say a word. I guess I’m not the only one who doesn’t know what to say.

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