Page 73 of Don't Let Me Fall (Don't Let Me 1)

Shit.

31

COLT

Ash’s cheeks are still flushed as she presses her hands to them, her eyes glassy and bright in the middle of her family room. And I want to know what she’s thinking. Especially after everything we did. But I don’t ask. I simply wait, dragging my fingertips against her thighs as she straddles my hips on the couch.

“We had sex,” she murmurs a few seconds later. There’s a touch of awe in her voice. Like she’s surprised.

With a low chuckle, I brush the hair sticking to her forehead away from her, her skin like silk beneath my fingertips. “Yeah, Sunshine. We did.”

“No, but like…we had sex,” she repeats, emphasizing we as she waves her hand back and forth between us. As if I don’t get it. As if I can’t feel the weight of what we did. Together. After months of build-up. Months of want. Need. It finally happened.

“Yeah. Yeah, we did,” I murmur, running my hand up and down her spine as I settle further into the couch cushions, my muscles spent.

Her mouth opens again to argue her point, but a light laugh spills out, and she covers her face. “Oh, my hell. We had sex. You and me. After all the chaos and the drama and the obstacles and the build-up and…everything. We finally had sex. In my kitchen, mind you. I… Holy shit, Colt. We had sex.”

She’s cute when she rambles. She’s cute all the time. But right now, especially. When her face is pink, her hair is mussed, and her cheeks are pinched from grinning. She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid eyes on.

Tilting her chin up, I force her to look at me. Her long hair tumbles around her shoulders, a soft smile on her lips, and my chest aches at how gorgeous she really is.

“You okay with it, Sunshine? That we had sex?”

Her soft breath fans across my cheeks as she leans closer and presses her forehead to mine, breathing me in as her pulse flutters in her neck. It’s intimate. Something I haven’t really felt since high school.

But I like it.

I like her.

“Yeah, Colt,” she whispers, her elation morphing to acceptance and awe. “Yeah. I’m okay with it. Don’t get me wrong. I know this is only a casual hookup and everything, but it’s still surreal, ya know? I’ve only ever been with Logan, so this?” She pecks at my lips again. “This is crazy for me. I just had a casual hookup with Colt Thorne, and I’m kind of reeling from it.”

My arms tighten around her, and her muscles soften against me. “Is it all you want? For this to be nothing more than a casual hookup?”

I don’t know why I’m disappointed, but I am. All she wants is a casual hookup? Does she even know what those are? The girl screams innocence and commitment louder than a blow horn, for chrissake.

Her teeth dig into the pad of her thumb for a few seconds. She drops her hand to her lap and shrugs one shoulder. “I think it’s all I can handle right now. Especially when you factor in Shorty and Mia and Logan––”

“That’s what this is about?” I ask, a sharpness tainting my words. But it’s too late to reel it back in. I sit up a little straighter. “Logan? You’re kidding me, right?”

Damn, it burns.

She leans away from me, putting a few more inches of space between us. “You’re his best friend, Colt. Can you imagine what he would do or how he would act if he found out we hooked up? Especially when he knows I’ve only ever been with him until today? He’d be pissed––”

“Then, let him be pissed, Ash. He lost you. It’s on him. Not me. Not you. Him.”

“I know,” she murmurs, dragging her hands along my shoulders, brushing her thumb against the dip in the center of my brows as if her touch can erase it. “And I don’t regret it. Logan and me breaking up. You and me and”––her baby blues flick to the kitchen––“everything that happened. I don’t regret any of it.” Her gaze meets mine again as she runs her tongue along her lower lip. “But I don’t think I’m ready for complicated quite yet, assuming you’d even want complicated with me.” She shakes her head and rolls her eyes. “Forget I said the last part. I guess I’m trying to say I think you and me doing anything other than casually hooking up would get complicated, and I’m not ready for it. But I like what we did. Without the drama or the chaos or…any of the other stuff. Only me and you. Having fun. Studying. And occasionally giving each other orgasms. Does that sound good to you?”

No, it doesn’t sound good. It sounds miserable. Which is ironic, considering my past. But she’s right about Mia and Shorty. She’s right about Logan. She’s right about pursuing anything other than a casual hookup turning our worlds upside down. What she doesn’t understand is…I’d be okay with it.

“Hey.” She cups my cheek and gives me another smile, leaning closer and kissing me. It’s soft. Sweet. Innocent. But laced with hesitancy. Like she’s scared she offended me or hurt my feelings or something. Probably because Logan was an ass to her and made her walk on eggshells during the last few months of their relationship. But what do I know?

Still, the idea he tainted her, made her question whether or not she’s allowed to voice her own opinions or say what she wants without repercussions leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. And not even her kiss can erase it.

“What did I do wrong?” she whispers, sensing my disgust.

My forehead falls to hers. “You did nothing wrong, Sunshine.”

“I can tell you’re mad––”

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