Page 98 of Don't Let Me Fall (Don't Let Me 1)

I glare back at him, my frustration boiling in my veins. “Feels pretty real at this moment.”

“You know that’s bullshit,” he counters.

He’s right. I do know it’s bullshit. But I’m too pissed off to care. I feel like everything was great at his mom’s house, and yet, here we are, traveling back in time where we aren’t a real couple. We’re only hanging out and hooking up under everyone’s noses. I don’t know what to do about it. With my lips pressed together, I try to rein in my temper, but it feels useless.

“I gave you an opportunity to back out,” he adds a little more carefully this time. “You decided not to take it.”

“Oh, so this is my fault?”

“It’s Theo’s fault,” Colt clarifies. “Actually, it’s not even his fault. He’s trying to be nice.”

“Yeah. Well, little does he know, he kind of put a damper on my day, so…”

Colt comes closer and rubs his hands up and down my arms. Comforting me.

“You don’t have to go,” he murmurs.

“And what about you?” I peek up at him. “Are you going to take Mia on a fake date to convince your friend––who’s also friends with Mia’s ex––you two are together?”

“I dunno,” he admits. “I didn’t exactly think he was going to corner you when you walked in.”

“Yeah, well, he did, and now, I’m going to go on a fake double date with my best friend and the guy I have a thing for while my non-date tries to play wingman. Does it sound fun to you?” I seethe, stepping away from Colt and pacing the kitchen like a caged bull. “This is ridiculous.”

“There’s a solution, you know,” Colt mutters, closing a bit of the distance between us. Again.

“Don’t say it.”

“Ash––”

“I’m serious, Colt.” I stop pacing but fold my arms and lean against the kitchen counter. “Don’t say it.”

He steps closer. “Ash. I like you. You know I do.”

I do know it. And I like him too. Way more than I should. Which is why this entire situation is so freaking difficult. It’s why I want to hide away in one of our bedrooms and pretend none of the chaos outside can reach us. Because as soon as we leave the safety of our own rooms or his childhood home, it does. The chaos twists what we have into something that feels like it can slip out of our grasp at any second. And I really don’t want to lose it. To lose him.

“I like you too,” I whisper. The words terrify me no matter how many times I voice them aloud. “But it doesn’t mean I want you to break up with Mia all because we got cornered into going on a double date. She needs you right now.”

“Ash.”

“We’ll simply pretend nothing is going on between us, and we’ll have you and Mia make goo-goo eyes at each other all night. It’ll be a real hoot,” I say sarcastically.

“And when Theo tries to hook you up with someone at SeaBird?” Colt growls, stepping closer to me. “How am I supposed to pretend then?”

I shrug one shoulder. “I’m sure you’ll think of something.”

“Ash––”

“I gotta go, Colt.”

I grab my backpack from the floor and try to slip past him, but he grabs my arm, holding me in place. His warm breath tickles the top of my head as I keep my gaze glued to the ground.

“You’re not allowed to be mad at me,” he rasps.

“Let me go.”

“You’re not allowed to be jealous, either.”

I know he’s right, but it doesn’t stop the sting of truth from hitting its target. I am jealous. I’m jealous Colt could have any girl he wants, yet I’m too scared about letting him in to claim him as my own. I’m jealous that I’ve been in this position before. That I’ve wanted to run away so many times, and he’s always reached out to keep me from running. To keep me from hiding from my true feelings, which are more real than I’d like to admit. To anyone, let alone myself.

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