Page 42 of Don't Let Me Fall (Don't Let Me 1)

“And we will,” I rush out. “But…not tonight. I think I’m going to change into some pajamas and go to sleep. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

He sighs and cups my cheeks, tilting my head up and leaning down to brush a kiss against my mouth. It’s soft and sweet, causing whatever butterflies still belonging to him to bat their little wings, but they barely put a dent in the swarm I feel anytime Colt enters the room.

And I hate how I notice the difference.

I pull away and rest my forehead against his chin, hating how torn apart I feel.

“Sleep,” I whisper. “Sleep will fix everything.”

“You sure?”

I nod. “Yeah. Let me walk you to the door. I’ll clean all of this up tomorrow.” I motion to the dirty plates and empty wine glasses on the table. Thankfully, I’d done the majority of work before Logan got here. Everything else will only take a few minutes. And all of it can wait until I find a semblance of sanity.

I need it now more than ever.

“All right.” He pulls out his phone and smiles when he reads the text message from a few minutes ago. I stand there, chewing on the pad of my thumb as he replies to whoever is on the other end.

“Work?” I ask.

He nods. “Yeah. I might pick up the extra shift since you want to go to bed early.”

“Got it,” I mutter. “I’ll walk you to the door.”

He grunts his response and ambles toward the front door, distracted by his phone.

The air is cool as I open it, jerking back, surprised. Mia’s head is tucked against Colt’s chest, and his arms are wrapped around her. Like a knife is lodged between a couple of my ribs, I breathe in a slow, unsteady breath, convinced I’m hallucinating.

This can’t be happening.

17

ASHLYN

I shouldn’t have to see this. Colt and Mia hugging each other. But so what? Why does it matter if I do? I’ve walked in on Mia and Shorty full-blown having sex on our couch, and it never bothered me.

So why does this?

I tear my attention away from Colt’s arms resting on Mia’s lower back and force a smile when their heads snap in my direction. I have no idea whether or not my fake amusement conceals my hurt from peeking through as Colt’s gaze connects with mine. But he doesn’t move away from her. He simply looks at me, his words from earlier tonight like razors.

You’re not allowed to be jealous.

But I am.

I’m so fucking jealous I might puke. And I know I have no right. I know I made dinner for Logan tonight. I know I shouldn’t be thinking of someone else, let alone letting that someone ruin a night with my boyfriend. But he did. He still is. And I can’t shake him, no matter how much I’ve tried to.

So where does it leave me, exactly?

Logan’s laughter is like a bucket of ice water as he tucks his phone back into his pocket and steps onto the front porch. “Hey, maybe you guys should get a room.”

Mia pulls away and looks up at Colt, her cheeks a little red. “Actually,” she pauses. “Do you want to come inside?”

Colt’s attention keeps me pinned in place, and he never breaks our connection as he mutters, “Not tonight.”

An unoffended Mia rises onto her tiptoes and kisses his cheek. “No worries. Why don’t you call me tomorrow?”

He gives her a non-committal shrug, still refusing to tear his attention away from me while I stand there, dumbfounded and most definitely interrupting their…whatever this is. And while I should feel guilt, all I feel is hurt and confusion. Like I deserve an explanation when I know I don’t. I don’t deserve a damn thing from Colt or Mia. If anything, they deserve an apology from me. And so does Logan.

“Thanks again for tonight,” Mia adds, heading inside and leaving me alone with Colt and Logan. My attention darts between them as Logan puts his hand on my waist and kisses me. In front of his freaking roommate. And because I’m pissed and jealous, I kiss him back, running my tongue along the seam of Logan’s lips as I push my breasts against his shirt. And I hate how it leaves me feeling dirty and even more confused. Like it feels wrong, somehow. And how is it even possible? We’ve kissed a million times. And even when I’m not in the mood, it’s never felt wrong. Not until this moment.

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