Page 64 of Bitter Queen (Advantage Play 4)

“Yes.”

“Lovely.”

He laughs.

“He’ll be looking for me,” I confide, sobering as I look up at D. “He promised to never let me free. That he’d always have me. That he’d always use me. And hurt me. And everything else. In his own sick, twisted way, I think he does love me. But it isn’t the right kind of love. It’s….”

“Fucked-up, Q. So fucked-up.”

Rubbing my hand beneath my nose, I sniff and try to push aside my fear and the memories that accompany Sei’s name. “And you want to use me as bait to catch him?”

“I don’t want to,” D grits out. The defeat in his voice is crippling as he guides me to the bed before encouraging me to sit on the edge of it. When I do, he joins me and continues. “But I’d rather be the one hunting for the bastard than the sitting duck, waiting to be slaughtered.”

Well, when you put it that way….

I feel like my veins have been injected with Mentos and Coke. Like my entire body is fizzing with too much carbonation, and I’m going to explode. Wringing my hands together in my lap, I whisper, “I’m terrified, D.”

“I know.”

“But I trust you.” I peek up at him.

The heat of his gaze isn’t scorching. It’s more like a warm sip of hot chocolate or the kiss of sunshine in the middle of summer that licks at my cheeks as he inches forward and presses his lips to mine.

I melt into him and open my mouth to let him inside when I feel his tongue tease the seam of my lips. His fingers tangle into my hair, cupping my cheeks with his calloused hands. I smile when the rough yet gentle grip scratches my sensitive skin.

I could love this man. I could fall for him. Hell, I have fallen for him. And while that’s terrifying, it’s also freeing.

The sound of his low groan makes my toes curl before I tangle our tongues together and deepen the kiss. Getting lost in his touch, the soft comforter cradles my back before I realize I’m lying down. On a mattress. With a massive, muscular guy that’s twice my size on top of me. It would be easy for him to force me to do something I’m not comfortable with. I wouldn’t even be able to put up a fight if he decided to toy with the idea.

But instead of being filled with terror, there’s a peace that accompanies my realization. Because even though he could do whatever the hell he wants to me, he wouldn’t. Not without my consent.

I know it in my bones. I can feel it in my chest. Hell, it’s apparent in every fiber of my being. He might be a big, bad mafia man. But to me, he’s Diece. My Diece. My protector. My friend. My everything.

And that makes all the difference.

With his strong arms caging me in on both sides of my head, I open my legs in an attempt to cradle his hips. Sensing my intent, Diece ends our kiss and pushes himself into a push-up before he stares down at me. His hesitation is clear as his piercing brown eyes pin me in place.

“Blue….”

“I want to.”

Tortured, he squeezes his eyes shut. “You don’t have to—”

“I know. I said want,” I reiterate with a dry laugh. “I want you. I want to give myself to you. I want to be with someone that I want to be with. And you’re that someone.”

“What’s your safe word, Q?”

“I know what it—”

“Say the word, Q,” he grits out. “I need to hear you say it.”

The pain in his eyes hits me harder than a sledgehammer. I’m not the only one who’s scared. Who regrets my past even though neither of us had any control over it. And for some reason, it’s comforting to know that he might not ever understand what I went through or how much it messed me up. But he cares. And he’ll do everything in his power to make it better and erase the damage.

Licking my lips, I breathe, “Six.”

“And if you feel uncomfortable at all, you say that word. We clear?”

“Yeah.” I smile up at him. “We’re clear.”

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