Page 33 of Bitter Queen (Advantage Play 4)

In slow motion, she pushes her hips into a bridge, and we both roll. Her elated breath brushes against my face before a ghost of a smile spreads across her face when she realizes she’s on top of me and isn’t in quite as vulnerable of a situation anymore.

“Again,” she pleads. “Show me again.”

We go over the movement more times than I can count before her confidence starts to shine through her insecurities.

“I think I’m getting it,” she tells me as she catches her breath.

“You’re doing great, Blue.”

Her smile disappears as she gets lost in her thoughts. Rolling onto her side, she pushes herself up and kneels next to me. When a wisp of hair tickles her cheek, she tucks it behind her ear then sucks her lips into her mouth. Even though I can see the question on the tip of her tongue, she stays quiet.

“What are you thinking about?” I prod.

“What if…what if he’s still holding the knife when he’s straddling me?” she blurts out. “What do I do then?”

Examining the question, I come to a conclusion that I doubt she’ll find comfort in, but tell her the truth, nonetheless. “With your back to the ground and a knife against your throat, your chances are slim at best.” Her confidence vanishes almost instantly, but I press forward. “My suggestion would be to figure out how to get him to put his knife down. Whether you seduce him or pretend to pass out so that it’s useless for him to keep a knife at your throat…something. I dunno. But your best bet is to get the knife away from him so you can flip him over the way we’ve practiced without worrying about him retaliating.”

A fresh wave of determination spreads across her features as she releases a shaky exhale and nods. “Okay. Okay, I can try to do that.”

“I know you can.”

“And, uh…what if he’s between my legs? Not just straddling me. What then? How do I counter it? How do I get him off me?”

Squeezing my neck, I drop my head back and stare up at the ceiling. I can’t do this. I can’t get between her fucking thighs. I can’t put myself in that position. Not when I’ve wanted her since the moment we met in Kingston’s office. Not when she’s been abused. Not when she doesn’t want me the way I want her.

I can’t.

“D,” she whispers before reaching out and touching my knee.

“I think we’ve had enough training for one day,” I bite out.

“I need to know. I need you to teach me. Please?”

Tortured, I look down at her. “Q—”

“Please?” she begs. “I need this. I need to know I have control over the situations that have been haunting me, and you’re the only one I trust. Please? For me?”

Trust. And what if she feels my fucking erection against her? Will she still trust me then?

“Come on, D. I need you.”

“It’s not that easy,” I hedge.

“What do you mean?”

My frustration spikes, and I push myself to my feet then look down at her on her knees. In front of me. With those big doe eyes looking up at me with an innocence she can’t fake.

I’m going to hell.

“Talk to me,” she pleads.

Now she’s begging? Does she want me to have blue balls for the rest of the week?

“You wanna talk?”

“Yes,” she whispers.

“Fine. I’m attracted to you,” I growl. “I want you to want me between those thighs, Blue. I want to erase every single touch he ever laid on you and replace it with my own. I want to show you what sex should be like instead of the nightmare you experienced over and over again at the hands of that bastard who hurt you. And now you’re asking me to slip between your thighs.” I laugh, but there isn’t any humor in it. “I wish I had that much control, Q. I really do. But I can’t guarantee that I won’t get a hard-on right now, especially when you look at me like that. Like I hung the fucking moon.”

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