With a sniff, I take a deep breath and face him. “Yup. Fine.”
He doesn’t believe me but also doesn’t press the subject, and I’m grateful he’s willing to drop it.
“Alright, then. There’s a fridge over there.” He points to the giant wall with the white screen. A fridge is tucked beside it. “Grab me a water, will ya? I’ll turn the projector on. Then we’ll start the movie.”
The sleek, stainless steel appliance is a stark reminder of the opulence in this house. When I open it, my hand itches to grab a Coke, but I reach for a second bottle of water before closing it and taking a seat on the nearest leather recliner. My muscles practically melt into the cushions on impact, and a contented sigh slips out of me. I’m exhausted. But it’s a good exhaustion. One that reminds me of the productive day I had instead of wasting away in a locked room.
The screen goes bright seconds later before Christmas music filters through the speakers.
What the hell?
Convinced I’m seeing things, I blink a few times before digging my teeth into my lower lip to keep from crying. White paper bag in hand, Diece plops down beside me and rummages through it. He’s completely oblivious that I’m about to really lose my shit for the first time since I was kidnapped.
“Hey, Blue,” he starts as he pulls out a hamburger wrapped in aluminum foil. “I didn’t know what you like, so I just got—” His expression transforms from carefree to distressed in an instant as he glances over at me. “What the hell, Blue? What’s wrong?”
My body wracks with a sob as I bury my face in my hands. Gasping for air, I finally just…cry. For the girl I was. For everything I’ve been through. For every bruise. Every cut. Every moment that was stolen from me by the despicable monster who tortured me for two weeks that lasted longer than a lifetime.
A hand rubs against my back, but I jerk away from the foreign touch of comfort and cry even harder before those same strong hands pull me into a warm chest. Unable to fight it, I cling to his comfort and sob even harder. The worn cotton shirt feels soft against my cheek as I burrow into him. I don’t know how much time passes before his chest rumbles against my cheek.
“Shhh…it’s okay, Q. It’s gonna be okay.”
I shake my head back and forth as another cry escapes me. “No, it’s not. It’ll never be okay again. I hate him, D. I hate him so much.”
“I know, baby girl,” he coos. “I know.”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” I choke out as my sorrow threatens to swallow me whole.
His grip tightens around me until all I can feel, smell, and hear is him. “Don’t you dare be sorry, Q. Not for one fucking second. You have done nothing wrong, do you hear me? Nothing.”
“I’m broken. I let him use me—”
“You had no choice,” he argues. His tone is dripping with venom. “You did what you had to do to survive. And you did survive, Q. You made it out the other side. That’s more than most girls can say. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but you’re strong enough to get through this.”
I whimper. “I’m not, though. I’m not strong. You were right. I’m weak. I let him win.”
“Don’t you dare let yourself think that, Blue. I was wrong. When I told you that, I was wrong. You got up this morning. You faced the world, despite how dark it seems. You’re here. You showed up. You did more than most men or women ever could. You are strong. You are brave. And you’re gonna get through this.”
“And if I can’t?”
“Then I’ll do whatever I can to carry your burdens until you’re strong enough to take the weight again.”
With tear-stained cheeks, I peek up at him, positive I look like a mess, yet feeling almost clean for the first time since I woke up in that damn basement all those nights ago.
His hand almost engulfs the entire left side of my face as he rubs his thumb along my cheek, catching the moisture still clinging to my skin. The indecision is clear in his eyes. If only I knew what he was thinking about. My lips part. But I don’t move another muscle as I continue to hold his stare. The air is heavy around us while the forgotten movie dances along the screen. I lift my chin. Hold my breath. And—
Defeated, he drops his hand back to his side and finds my cold hamburger before offering it to me. “You should eat something.”
“Thanks.” I take it from him and unwrap it while my brain tries to piece together what the hell just happened.
“Have you seen this one before?” D asks beside me, motioning toward the movie that’s almost half over.
I shake my head. “Nope.”
“Do you want me to start it over?”
“It’s okay.”
“You sure?”