“Even if the entire department can attest to the fact that he never had regular business with you, except for mouthing off at you in the hallways?”

“Yep.”

“Hopefully, that doesn’t go anywhere.”

“I guess we’ll see.”

The thought of that son of a bitch coming back to work was one she didn’t care to entertain.

Later that night, after the twins were asleep, Sam and Nick sat with Scotty, Eli, Harry, Lilia, Terry, Lindsey and Shelby to watch Saturday Night Live. Lindsey had driven up for the night but had to head back to work the next day because her deputy, Byron Tomlinson, was leaving in the morning to be the best man at his brother’s New Year’s weekend wedding.

The show’s cold open began with a handsome dark-haired actor who bore a striking resemblance to Nick sitting at the Resolute desk, reviewing a huge stack of paperwork with intense focus.

“Mr. President?”

“Yes, Terry?”

“Oh my God, I’m on SNL,” Terry said, “and they gave me a pot belly. What the hell?”

“We’ve received reliable intelligence that the North Koreans are planning to declare war on Alaska.”

“What’ve the Alaskans done to offend the North Koreans?”

“We aren’t entirely sure, sir, but the Joint Chiefs are in the Situation Room, waiting to brief you.”

The actor playing Nick looked to his right, obviously tuning out Terry as the camera panned to show a blonde bombshell actress playing Sam standing in the doorway to the Oval.

“Am I disturbing you, Mr. President?” she asked in a breathy, sexy voice. She had a gun strapped to her waist and a gold badge pinned to her chest.

Real Sam gasped as the others giggled. “Oh. My. God.”

“Please disturb me.”

“Um, Mr. President, the North Koreans…”

Nick waved his hand to dismiss Terry. “Give us a minute.”

“Yes, sir.”

Terry left the room, closing the door.

Nick crooked his finger to bring Sam over to him.

She sat on his lap behind the Resolute desk, and they kissed passionately.

Real Sam groaned loudly. “Someone please shoot me right now.”

The others roared with laughter.

“It’s amazing how true to life this is,” Scotty said, earning a bop on the head from his father.

As the kissing went on, the two actors began to gyrate to the tune “My Humps” by the Black Eyed Peas.

“Stop it!” Sam said, screaming. “I can’t look!”

The next scene showed Terry sitting in the Situation Room with a group of stoic military officers.

“Is he coming?” one of them asked as the screen behind him shows bombs heading for Alaska.