Page 56 of The Darkest Half

“What do you mean? Where did he go?”

Victor’s gaze finds the concrete jungle of New York City again; he stands with his hands folded down in front of him.

“He was treated here for a few days but insisted he had other places to be. So, he removed his IV, dressed, and left the building. I have not seen nor heard from him since yesterday.”

“But…health-wise…should he have done that?”

“My brother is a survivor and always has been. He will be fine.”

I can’t believe Niklas just left. Wait, what am I saying? I absolutely can believe it because that’s what he does. He disappears for weeks or months on end, spending his days and nights out there in the real world, surrounded by people who don’t kill others for a living. But why does it feel so different this time? Why does it feel so…final?

“He will not be coming back, Izabel,” Victor says, inadvertently answering my internal dialogue. “This time, it is for good.”

“Did he tell you that?”

Victor shakes his head.

“No, but he did not need to. I saw it in his eyes. He is done with this lifestyle. Now that Vonnegut is out of the way and there is no longer a bounty on Niklas’ head, he has chosen, for the first time in his life, to live his life the way he chooses.”

I swallow a lump down my throat. I really can’t imagine a life without Niklas. Why did he leave without saying goodbye?

Iknow it must affect Victor more than me. I lay my hand against his back.

“Are you OK with his decision?”

He hooks a hand about my waist and pulls me against him. “Yes. I am happy for him.” He presses his lips into the top of my hair. “Things are finally how they should have been all along. That is if you choose to stay.”

“I go where you go, Victor. Since the day I met you, I’ve chosen this life. But…I thought you wanted me to abandon all this and live in the real world, too.” I wave a hand at the window.

“You belong with me,” he says and squeezes my hip. “Perhaps I am selfish, but I will not fight it anymore, my love for you.”

My cheeks flush with heat, but I lay my head on his chest to hide it.

After a quiet moment:

“I have but one question for you, too,” he says.

“And I’ll have an answer,” I echo.

He puts his back to the window and looks into my eyes, searching.

“Are you OK with Niklas’ decision to leave?”

My time in that room alone with Niklas is coming back to me now, the things we said to each other, my confession, and I know that Victor heard every word.

“I will miss him,” I say, “but I’m happy for him, too.”

“Are you in love with him, Izabel? I will understand if you are.”

I shake my head and step up closer.

“I love Niklas, but not the same way I love you. I…can’t explain it, but it’s all I’ve got.”

He pulls me close, wrapping his arms around me.

“I mean, even if you and I weren’t together,” I go on, “I honestly can’t imagine myself with him. I just…well, as I said, it’s hard to explain because I don’t understand it myself.”

“Do not try to understand it, at least not for my sake. I am content with the answer you gave me.” He takes my hand. “There are clothes in the closet,” he says, pointing at the closet by the restroom door. “If you feel up to it, get dressed, and I will meet you soon.”

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