Page 68 of The Moment of Letting Go

“Am I doing it right?” she asks, snapping me out of my thoughts.

“Ah, yeah, that feels awesome.” I moan a little in between words, my eyes opening and closing as if a coaxing hand lies across my lids. “Mmmm … yeah, right there … ah, yeah.”

“Stop that!” She chuckles, and I feel her weight shift as she tries to balance herself. “You sound like you’re about to get off.”

Babe, if you only knew …

My laugh is muffled and strained, followed by an oomph! as Sienna’s weight continues to shift unsteadily.

She walks on my back for a few more minutes, losing her balance only a couple of times and causing me to suck in a quick breath and my eyes to bulge. But she could go ahead and hop up and down if she wanted and I’d still want her to stay right where she was.

After a while, when I feel like she’s suffered enough, I let her off the hook.

“Owww!” I brace the palms of my hands against the floor.

Sienna jumps off immediately. “Did I hurt you?”

“Not with your weight,” I say with a grimace, pushing down the grin trying to sneak up on my lips, “but your heels are kind of rough. Felt like sandpaper there for a second.”

A burst of air pushes through her lips.

“Shut up!” She laughs and then I feel her toes prodding me in the ribs. I pretend to be wounded. “My feet are not like sandpaper! Trust me, I spend enough time on them so they should be immaculate.”

I roll over onto my back and grab one of her feet in both my hands before she can snatch it away. Then I pretend to inspect it, turning it this and that way with my fingers collapsed around the top and my thumbs pressing into the bottom, which is actually quite soft. She hops on one foot, trying not to fall over.

“OK, you’re right.” I give in and let go. “Must’ve been something else.” I smile up at her.

Then, unable to hold myself back anymore, I bring her down on top of me so that her bare legs straddle my waist. Fitting my fingers at the back of her neck, I pull her gently toward me, touching my lips to the edges of her mouth, the little hollow below her nose, and finally her lips—I feel her warm, soft body melting into mine. I kiss her softly, winding my fingers in the back of her hair.

When she pulls away slowly, her eyes are still closed for a moment. And when they open, she just looks at me, I look at her, and I never imagined that so much could be said between two people without a single word.

Finally the moment shifts and she smiles brightly and jumps to her feet, poking me gently in the ribs with her toe again. I draw my legs up, bent at the knees with my feet flat on the floor to conceal the other part of me that is fully awake this morning, making sure that the shorts I slept in last night are loose in all the right places. But I’m pretty damn sure she felt just how hard I am when she was straddling my waist—must be mostly what that red in her face is all about.

I want more than anything to carry her into my room right now, lay her across my bed, and carefully strip off her clothes—it about killed me when she stood up and broke the moment—but then I realize how much more it makes me want her, not just physically, but in every way, and I find myself trading sexual frustration for patience, and her heart.

I never make her breakfast. She said she really wasn’t hungry and that lunch was right around the corner. She let me off the hook this time, but I won’t miss the opportunity again.

We set out soon after for Oahu first thing so Sienna can officially check out of the hotel and get her stuff from the room. And on the way over she sits by the window on the plane and looks out every now and then between our many conversations. There’s never a dull moment between us. And barely a full minute will go by without one of us having something else to say, or needing to laugh, or me needing to pat her leg or hold her hand when I see that lingering fear of flying try to rear its ugly head again. She’s not cured. It’ll take more than a few flights to cure her, but she’s already come a long way.

And she should be proud of herself. I was of myself when I made that first bungee jump with my brother. It was a powerful feeling—letting go of my fear—that left such a mark on my life that I feel compelled to help Sienna feel it as I did. I’ll do whatever I can to help her as my brother helped me.

I want to take it a step further.

I know it’s a long shot, but when we get back to Kauai later … I have an idea.

Sienna

The community center looks pretty much the same way it did yesterday, with the exception of a few more tables that have been set against one wall, and several more paintings placed on easels. It’s practically a ghost town in here—the lights are dull, not bright like they were before, which tells me they’re on dimmers; there’s only a few people walking around, carrying trash bags and boxes, and it’s so quiet. That is, until Alicia sees us and practically glides across the room to meet us.

“It’s good to see you,” she says, taking me into a hug. Then she waves her hand about the room, an anxiety-filled look on her olive-colored face. “As you can see, things aren’t going so well.” She looks right at Luke. “I think we’re in over our heads.”

“Ye of so little faith.” Luke pokes fun at her. “Stop worrying so much; it’s two months away”—he looks at me with bright eyes—“and I have a secret weapon.”

My face falls under a blanket of heat.

“Ye of so much confidence,” I joke. “Keep your expectations of me that high and you might be disappointed.”

Luke pulls me against him with his arm hooked around my waist and he presses his lips against my temple. “I doubt you could pull off disappointing me,” he says, and I melt a little more.

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