Page 124 of The Moment of Letting Go

I need air. I can’t breathe.

I run out of my room, down the hall, through the living room, and out the front door into the cool night air.

I stop cold in my tracks, and what breath I have left is knocked right out of me when I see Luke staring back at me from the end of the sidewalk, his hands buried in the pockets of his jeans.

THIRTY-FOUR

Sienna

For a time that feels like forever, I can’t speak. I don’t blink. I feel like I’m hallucinating. Are my feet moving? I never realized I had been slowly walking toward him. Maybe he was walking toward me. I don’t know.

Luke smiles.

I shake my head over and over again, racked by overwhelming disbelief and relief and a hundred other emotions I can’t name.

“Sienna—”

Dashing across the sidewalk, I sprint toward him and fall into his arms.

“You’re OK!” I cry into his chest, his arms wrapped tightly around me, squeezing me nearly to death. “You’re not dead!”

“No, baby, no. I’m fine.” He kisses the top of my head.

“But … oh my God, I can’t believe you’re here.” I can’t think straight. My head feels swollen with emotion and questions and stuffy from the tears.

I pull away from his chest, but I don’t let him go and keep my arms wrapped around his waist.

“But I thought—” I look down, the black lettering on his brown T-shirt blurring in my vision.

“Luke,” I say, looking back up into his eyes, “how are you here?”

He smiles softly. “I know I said I’d wait for you,” he begins, “and I did for a while, but I couldn’t wait any longer. I had to see you.”

I’m confused. I’m not sure he is answering my question. I was asking how he’s alive. Because of Kendra’s letter. But the feeling of being wrapped in his arms again takes over and I don’t care about that right now.

“Sienna,” he says, and our eyes meet, “you’re all I’ve thought about since you left. I need you in my life.”

My gaze strays again.

I want to be with him too, more than anything, but …

He cups my face within his hands, stealing my gaze back. A tear slips down my cheek. He leans in and kisses it away. I’m so overwhelmed with emotion, just knowing that he’s alive, that I can’t truly grasp everything right now: that he’s here, the things he’s saying to me, why I feel like I’ll collapse on the sidewalk and die if he leaves.

Finally it hits me.

“But, Luke … the thought of you … I can’t stand the thought of you—” Sobs rack my body and my hands begin to push against his chest. “I can’t take it! I thought you were dead! I missed you so much! And I thought you were dead!” I scream that word into the night air.

Luke’s arms collapse around me again and he holds me tight. “It’s OK, baby. It’s OK. You never have to worry about that again. Do you hear me? Sienna. Look at me.” He shakes me, his hands around my biceps, the intensity in his eyes so palpable. “You never have to worry about that again,” he repeats, as if to drill it into my head.

“What do you mean?”

He looks into my eyes again.

“I went to Norway,” he says, “but I didn’t jump.”

I just look at him for a moment. Confused. Elated, but confused. “But … but why didn’t you jump?”

A smile appears in his beautiful hazel eyes. His fingers tighten gently about my upper arms, and then the smile finds its way to his lips. “Because … I found something more worth dying for.”

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