Page 71 of The Moment of Letting Go

I’m not sure I like that subtle look of mischief playing in his eyes.

I swallow nervously.

“Plans for it?” I ask hesitantly, and I’m beginning to wonder why he’s so intent on helping me overcome my fear of heights. Not that it bothers me—I couldn’t be more grateful—but I still have to wonder where it’s coming from, why he’s so, dare I say it, exactly what I’ve needed in that regard.

“Yep.” He nods.

I don’t wonder for long—now I’m just worried about what he has in store. “What kind of plans?” I ask. Am I grimacing? I’m totally grimacing. I probably look petrified. Luke is unfazed.

He curls his fingers around mine and says, “You’ll see,” as he walks us out of the building.

Luke

I ask her to trust me and not ask questions about where I want to take her. It’s definitely going to be a surprise, but I’m not one hundred percent confident that it’ll be a welcome one—I’m leaning toward no, but it’s worth a shot. She’s been awesome at going headfirst into facing her fear of flying, sitting by the window and looking out, but I can see the change taking shape within her already, the unmistakable confidence, her unbending strength.

I wish I was as strong as her.

I wish I could face my own fear—accepting Landon’s death and moving on with my life.

But maybe I am finally beginning to find my way again. Since Sienna walked into my life, I’ve felt lately like … I can breathe again. When I’m around her, I forget about everything else: the news from China, the funeral, the nightmares, the denial … but mostly the pain.

“Well, at least tell me if I’m dressed for the … occasion,” she says with a fearful tenor in her voice—I come back into the moment, the backs of my eyes burning with tears, and I adjust my expression quickly so she doesn’t notice.

She looks down at her outfit: cute blue shorts, pink tee, and white and hot pink running shoes.

“What you’re wearing is fine,” I assure her.

She’s so nervous sitting beside me on the bus on our way to the airport, the way she wrings her hands together on her lap.

“Well, do I need anything?” she asks. “Like maybe a … parachute or something?”

I laugh because it was certainly a joke, told by a beautiful, timid girl who was definitely not smiling in the least bit when she said it.

“No,” I say, patting her bare leg and leaving my hand there. “But you’ve got your camera, right?”

Her face lights up and it makes my stomach feel like a warm ball of, I dunno, something mushy and feminine, and all I’m waiting for now is to see a burst of little hearts shoot from my ears. I shake it off, laughing quietly to myself.

“No,” she says, “but we can stop by your house and pick it up first, right?” She looks hopeful and doe-eyed—damn; what this girl is doing to me!

As if she really needed to ask. She may not know it, but I am one hundred percent at her service.

“Well, that’s really all you need,” I say, squeezing her knee. “We’ll stop by the house first.”

Back on Kauai, Sienna reemerges from my room, pulling her hair into a ponytail.

Minutes later we hop in my car and leave just as Seth and Kendra are pulling into the driveway in Seth’s red Jeep, which has seen better days. Pressing my finger on the button, my window slides down as he and I come to a stop next to each other. The doors and roof of the Jeep were taken off months ago and Seth never cared to put them back on. I can smell the mildewy seats that have been rained on countless times.

“Where yah headed, bro?” Seth asks, looking down from his seat at me in my little blue Hyundai.

“Taking Sienna …” I pause, having to be careful. “Well, we’ll be gone for a while.”

Seth leans over some behind the steering wheel so he can get a better look in at Sienna on the other side of me. “Hey, girl,” he says and waves at her with two fingers.

He shaved his head again recently, I notice.

Sienna waves back. “Hello again,” she says, beaming.

Seth grins at me like some kind of mad scientist as he rises back up.

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