Page 17 of Wanting it All

“I’d change it if I could…” Tiff could hear Bri’s tears again through the speaker. “I don’t want Jake. Idon’t. I want Markus. I just wish that Markus could fill that need for me. Does that make me selfish that I want it all?” A sob filled the car at Bri’s end of the call.

“No, not selfish, but here’s the thing, Bri, and there’s no getting around it. You. Are. Married. And to an awesome guy who loves you very much. He’s almost everything you ever wanted in a man. You need to open up and tell him about this and see if you can mold him into what you’re missing. If you don’t, you’ll wake up one day and find out you’ve lost him.”

“Don’t you think I know that? Why do you think I went with Jake today? It was to get the stupid hard drive so we can put an end to this once and for all,” Bri retorted defensively.

Tiffany cried bullshit. “Stop. We both know there’s zero chance Jake will ever follow through on any promises he makes. He just strings you along because he knows once he gets you behind closed doors, he can take what he wants from you, and you won’t do shit to stop him.”

“Screw you, Tiff.” Brianna spat.

“If you’d refused to go with him, it would be a moot point.” When Bri was silent, Tiff took a deep breath before adding, “And I’m done covering for you with Markus. Today was the last time I’ll lie to him for you. He deserves the truth… to be able to make things right.”

When the call went silent, Tiffany hoped Bri was thinking about her advice and was relieved when her friend admitted, “Fine, I’ll talk to him tonight.”

“Yeah, right. How many times have I heard that before, Bri?” She was tired of having the same conversation over and over.

“This is different.”

“Sure, it’ll be different until the next time Jake shows up.”

“No, I’m done with him. You have no idea—”

“That’s what you said six months ago, and then you went with him today. But sure, go out to dinner with your husband now and see if he can fill whatever hole Jake has been for you. Maybe then when the asshole comes back to town, you can tell him to fuck off.” Tiff knew she was riding her best friend hard, but it had to be done.

Through the sniffles over the phone, Bri added quietly, “I’m hanging up now.”

Tiff sighed. “Just talk to Markus before you ruin your marriage. Please.”

“Bye Tiff. I’ll see you tomorrow.” The phone went dead.

Tiffany slid her phone into her pocket, trying not to feel guilty for how hard she’d been on her best friend. She was relieved that Bri was at least physically safe. Tiff was less sure about her friend’s emotional state, particularly knowing how the guilt of what she’d done would weigh on Brianna.

She said a silent prayer that Bri would be brave enough to talk to her husband about what she needed from him and wasn’t getting.

Even as she thought it, she admonished herself for being a hypocrite. She’d been dating Jason long enough to know without a doubt that he wasn’t the right guy for her, but like Brianna, she’d been putting off being honest with him.

Maybe tonight she’d pluck up the courage to break up with him and move on herself.

Damn Brianna for not seeing how perfect her husband was. Tiff would give anything to find a man as perfect as Markus.

Chapter Seven

Brianna

The Uber app on Brianna’s phone showed she was still eleven minutes away from the restaurant she was supposed to meet Markus at fifteen minutes ago. Her husband hated when she was running late, especially when he was stuck sitting at their table at Hugo’s alone.

Brianna’s heart thumped hard with crushing guilt. She’d had just enough time as she rushed to get ready to meet her husband for their celebratory dinner to know that as much as she’d love to blame Jake for what had happened in his hotel room that afternoon, she couldn’t. Not completely. Sure, he’d been an asshole, and he’d tricked her… tied her down… forced himself on her.

And if he’d been a stranger, things would be different.

But he wasn’t a stranger. She knew every evil trick in his dirty playbook and that meant she never should have left the shop with him. Looking back, it was so obvious.

Brianna shot off a text letting Markus know she was now nine minutes away, grateful that she’d been able to avoid speaking with him directly. They’d ended up leaving each other voicemail messages and texts to make the evening arrangements.

Today had made it clearer than ever that it was time to be honest with Markus. Even though Brianna found it almost impossible to ask her husband for the dark things her body craved—even if she felt shame for wanting them—she had to give him a chance. Tiffany’s harsh words had hurt, but her best friend was right. Jake was a monster. Still, she had to acknowledge it was the act of being forced…utterly controlled and dominated… It was a better high than any high-priced pharmaceutical.

And she hated it.

She’d been successful for a few years at pushing her needs down deep, but there was no denying that Jake had a direct line to the part of herself she’d tried to bury with the end of their relationship.

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