Page 65 of Dollhouse

Sebastian has no control over me anymore. As far as I’m concerned, he’s dead just like Lee.

Strong arms wrap around my waist from behind, and I know who it is before he even speaks.

Eli.

I know all of their scents by now, and his is cedarwood. I love their scents; it’s oddly comforting.

With a sigh, I relax against his chest, pressing my back against his front. With gentle fingers, he brushes the hair from my left shoulder over to my right, placing a kiss to the crook of my neck. “What’s going on inside that beautiful mind of yours?” He grips my waist and turns me around, so I’m facing him.

The dynamics between Eli and I are ever-changing. Since the night he showed me the ballet studio he created for me, we’ve been getting closer. And it feels really good getting closer to him and seeing the sides to him that he tries to hide. I see the ruthlessness in him, but I also see the softer side that I’m sure no one outside of these walls gets to see. Most of the time, his expressions are stoic. He’s calm and collected. He has complete control over his emotions and is careful with how he responds to situations. Everything he does is precalculated.

Eli is the one that has the most control of his emotions and rarely shows how he’s feeling.

King is loud, sensitive, and puts his feelings on display and rarely gives a fuck about anything.

Rowen is the one with the temper problem who gets angry easily and would rather punch someone or break something than talk about his feelings.

They’re all so different, yet so similar, and I’ve never wanted anyone as much as I want them. I’m crazy, I know, but with them, it’s exciting. I don’t know what to expect from one minute to the next. The unknown is something I’d usually fear, but not anymore.

I wrap my arms around Eli’s neck and stare up into his chocolate eyes. He kisses the tip of my nose and brushes my raven hair behind my ears, holding my face with a tenderness that makes my heart beat twice as fast. His thumbs lightly brush over my cheeks, and in an instant, his lips are on mine, and he’s kissing me tenderly.

It seems that the only time he shows any hint of emotion is when he’s around me. Or even Rowen and King.

He’s opened himself up around me and is allowing me to get to know him day by day.

“Talk to me, hellion,” he whispers, his breath fanning over my lips as his forehead rests against mine.

“Is it wrong that I want all three of you?” I ask with a sigh, searching his eyes for any hint of judgment, but I don’t find any.

“Do you feel that it’s wrong?” His thumb brushes along my bottom lip, pulling it away from my teeth.

Do I feel it’s wrong? I want to say no, but I keep hearing Sebastian’s voice in the back of my mind telling me that I’m nothing and worthless, and that I’m a whore, even though I’ve never once given him a reason to truly believe that I’m a whore.

I’ve never cheated or let my eyes stray, unlike him.

“You’re doubting yourself.” Eli’s words snap me out of my thoughts, and I blink, looking up at him. “You’re hearinghisvoice, aren’t you?” I don’t miss the malice in his voice when he refers to Sebastian. He doesn’t want to mention my sorry excuse of a husband, and neither do I. “Tell me what you’re hearing. What would he say to you?”

“He would tell me that I’m a worthless whore. He’d hit me until I was bloody and covered in bruises, and only when my voice was hoarse from screaming for him to stop, he would.” His jaw visibly clenches and his eyes darken.

“You, my hellion, are anything but worthless.” He captures my lips in a searing kiss that leaves me feeling dizzy when he pulls away. “Do whatever you feel is right, Tate. If being with all three of us feels as right as I believe that it does, then continue being with us. If something starts to feel awkward or weird, then talk to us or one of us. We’re all here for you, and I know I speak for them too when I say that you’re ours for as long as you’ll have us.” I am not used to this side of Eli yet, nor am I used to having any man be so open with me about his feelings.

My romance with my own harem is a quick burn, and I am still questioning how it’s possible that in the short amount of time I’ve known these men, for once, my soul feels complete. I’m whole, and I have them to thank.

Does it really matter that I’ve known them for such a short amount of time?

No, because I feel that I’ve known them my entire life. The exception is Rowen, because I’ve known him since I was ten years old.

Our souls are connected, and they have been since the first time I laid eyes on the boy with emerald eyes and hair as dark as night.

“Come.” Eli takes my hand in his, leading me away from the kitchen stove where I’d been standing with an empty pan preparing to make breakfast when he entered and distracted me.

It’s seven in the morning and King and Rowen have to go into town to meet with someone from their organization that may have a lead on the men that ambushed us and are trying to kidnap me. It’s Eli’s turn to stay home with me; they don’t trust leaving me alone, and for good reason.

Apart from someone trying to kidnap me, I tried to escape once, and I wasn’t confident that I wouldn’t try again. I’m still confused about my feelings and unsure what I want to do.

Eli leads me upstairs to his bedroom, closing and locking the door behind us. With quick hands, he lays me down on his four-poster king-size bed, the silk bedding cool underneath my exposed flesh. He stares down at me with hunger in his eyes, and slowly he removes his clothing while I lie frozen watching him.

I’ve seen Eli shirtless countless times, but seeing him nude is unlike anything I am prepared for. His torso is covered in tattoos, and often I wondered how far down they went, but as I stare at his glorious naked body, I get my answer.

---