Page 91 of A Lie so Dangerous and Fragile

I stayed there for a while with my forehead resting on the door. The sound of her door closing was like a rejection. I deserved it. I turned off the lights and returned to bed with an aching heart. I missed her so much that it hurt. It hadn’t hurt this much when she was an ocean away because I had known then that I’d lost her forever, but now, the possibility of being with her again was right in front of me but out of my reach. She was so close but felt far away.

I closed my eyes and blew a raspberry. A part of me craved normalcy. That feeling of acceptance, comfort, and belonging. I wanted a level of stability and control in my life. Ever since I had lost Fiona and my little girl, Nadia, everything in my life had been disrupted and put on hold. Now, I yearned for those beautiful moments, yet all those desires seemed unfathomable.

Every time I tried to sleep, echoes of my past crawled into my dreams, reminding me I wasn’t worth any of those desires I craved. That I could never win her love back and I was everything bad in her life. I’d do what my therapist always advised me to do. I designed my happy place. A place where I imagined walking her down the aisle, buying a house, and turning it into our home. A place where she’d forgiven me and her love shone through her smile and the way she cared for our kids.

I drifted slowly to sleep, to my happy place, because dreaming of a forever with her was my only escape from reality.

***

I was up at six a.m. for my morning run. My body had formed a habit of waking up at six without an alarm clock. I stretched my arms as I walked into my closet and changed into running shorts and a muscle top. I’d picked up on morning runs at the rehab facility with Ronan, a friend I had made at the facility.

I took a glance at the twins’ room and Chloe’s as I made my way to the stairs. The cool air whipped my skin as I stepped outside. I took a deep breath, the golden rays of the sunrise caressing my skin with warmth.

What I enjoyed about waking up this early for my morning run was witnessing the sunrise beautifying the sky, the silence, and the peace. It helped me to clear my head and let go of all the negative thoughts, tension, and stress.

I put on my AirPods and jogged down the street, doing a few stretches along the way. I ran for thirty-five minutes before jogging back to the house. I was soaked in sweat when I entered the house. I took off my damp shirt and gulped down two bottles of water. I went upstairs and decided to check on the twins before entering the shower.

I opened the door quietly and peeked inside. I was surprised to see Chloe sleeping on the floor with a duvet wrapped around her. It broke my heart to see her like this. Maybe she was scared we’d take the kids away from her. It’d take a lifetime for my family to earn her trust again.

Did she sleep on the floor the whole night? Has she been sleeping on the floor since we moved the twins to the room? The discomfort she must be feeling lying on the cold floor. I wish I could make her trust me. Make her feel safe here.

I stepped in and walked to where she lay. I crouched next to her small form, curled with the duvet. I moved my hand to wake her, but I found myself tracing every feature of her face. God, she was so beautiful. I could never forget the soft expression on her face as she slept, the way her lips parted slightly, and how innocent she looked. The view captured my entire soul. I was mesmerized by this incredibly perfect sculpted form in front of me. If there was a God, then he really loved me to make me encounter this angel. It was a pure privilege, having her as the mother of my kids. I took a moment to soak it all in, her beauty.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, caressing her cheek with my thumb.

I felt her stir, and her long eyelashes fluttered. Her eyes opened, and she stared at me for a while, those gorgeous eyes capturing every piece of my heart. My lips curved into a small smile.

“Good morning,” I murmured, brushing my thumb against her cheek.

She pulled away from me quickly, as if my touch were acidic to her skin. I’d scared her. Honestly, I hadn’t expected a different reaction, considering everything I had done to her. I knew I deserved probably worse than this. I had known getting back into her life would be difficult, but that didn’t mean I was going to let it all go.

The old Tristan would have backed away. He would have curled back under the covers with defeat because he thought he was incapable of being given a second chance. But things had changed. I was no longer that person who believed he didn’t deserve a second chance. Seeing Chloe again was my second chance. Being able to have the twins with her was the only indication I needed to crawl out of my own thoughts.

I still loved her, and I knew with every cell in my body that I could never stop loving her. Even if I had to live for eternity, I’d still love her. My love for her was a kind of love one felt once in a lifetime. That love was irreplaceable and hard to find. Chloe was it for me. She was that love of mine. I’d vowed not to be with any other woman if it wasn’t her.

All I wanted right now was to be part of my kids’ life and to give them the world. All I craved was a family with Chloe, a life with her and the twins.

I understood her need for space and distance from me. I understood her need to heal, but I wouldn’t stop fighting. I wouldn’t stop until I proved to her that I loved her. Though I had made a mistake in the beginning, though I had let her walk away the first time, I wasn’t about to do it all over again.

27

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Nemesis

CHLOE’S POV

I felt something moving on my face. I ignored it at first, but it kept moving on my cheek, like a brush caressing my skin. I found myself leaning toward it, relishing the texture and how familiar it felt. I battled with my heavy eyelids as I tried to make out the image in front of me. The clearest blue eyes held mine as my brain tried to jump-start. I was hooked for a few seconds as Tristan looked down at me with a soft gaze, mixed with worry and guilt. He was crouching next to me, his hand on my cheek. It was as if he hadn’t aged those three years. His strong jawline and perfectly formed face only looked more prominent and angular. His devilish eyes were almost bewitching. My eyes trailed down to his shirtless torso glistened with sweat and I smiled wondering if I was dreaming.

“Good morning,” he whispered, brushing his thumb against my cheek and smiling at me.

I snapped out of it and pulled away like he had burned me. He was real. He looked hurt by my reaction but masked it with a thin smile. I was slowly getting too comfortable with him even though I reminded myself not to let down my walls and let him in again after all the pain he’d put me through.

“What time is it?” I asked, sitting up and resting my back against Kayla’s crib. The twins were still sleeping. I tried to keep my voice as low as possible, so I wouldn’t wake them.

“Past eight. I came to check on the twins, and I found you sleeping on the floor,” he said, sitting across from me on the floor.

I noticed he was in his joggers, and trainers. He had probably gone out for a run.

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