Page 41 of A Lie so Dangerous and Fragile

“No, it’s not. We are going to find him.”

He brushed my tears away with his big thumbs and put his arms around me. His palm rubbed smoothly up and down my back, and his other palm cupped the back of my head and held me against him as I sobbed. Right now, I didn’t really care if I hated him. I needed the comfort and someone to help me get through this because I was tired of fighting alone.

“I’m so sorry,” I said, the words muffled against his chest.

There was no one else to blame but myself. Mrs. Porter was dead because of me. My sweet baby was missing because of me. I tightened my hold on him, crying deeply as intense anguish washed over me at what I’d done.

“It’s fine. We’ll find him,” he whispered, resting his chin on my head.

I hadn’t expected him to be nice. The Tristan I knew would have lost it. He was going to lose another child because of me.

“Please stop crying. We’ll find him.”

He stroked the hair at the nape of my neck softly. It was nice to have someone here, some assurance and a shoulder to cry on. I wasn’t sure I would have made it out of here alone without jumping in front of a moving car.

I pulled away after a while. I sniffled as I looked down at my old Converse. I was too ashamed to look him in the eyes. I should have seen the storm coming. Maybe all of this could have been avoided.

“What did the cops say?” I asked, my voice coming out hoarse from crying.

“They are still investigating. They didn’t find any footprints or anything helpful at the crime scene. They told me the old lady was shot in the head.”

I tried to hold my tears back but failed. He reached into his pocket and gave me his handkerchief.

I took it, mouthing,Thanks.

“Do they have any suspects?” I asked as I dabbed the tears away.

“No.”

What about Ryan?

“Wait here. Let me have a little talk with the sheriff.”

I nodded and took a seat.

Is Ryan behind this? Is this his revenge for what I had done? Oh God, I’m so screwed. What have I done?

I brushed my messy hair back with my fingers and leaned back on the seat. Tristan returned some minutes later, and we walked out of the building in silence.

Morris brought the car to the entrance, and we entered. It seemed Tristan still hated driving. We maintained some distance between us in the car. The silence in the car was suffocating. Morris had to turn on the radio. I saw him smile when our eyes met in the mirror. A sympathetic smile.

I took a glance at Tristan. He looked restless. He kept tapping his foot on the floor and groaning. Once in a while, his fingers drummed on his thigh. I looked away. I knew he was angry, and I was surprised he wasn’t taking it out on me. If he lost another child, he’d never forgive me.

Tristan began to dial a number while I pressed myself to the door, wishing it could swallow me. After what felt like an eternity of the line ringing, someone answered.

“Any updates? No? What the hell has your team been doing?!” He sighed and ended the call.

He made three more calls, demanding details on the search for Kayden, while I sat there, feeling helpless and useless. All I had been doing was crying. All I did was cry. I bit down on my lip and looked outside the window to hold back the tears.

The car stopped in front of my apartment building. It was the last place I wanted to be. The silence and million thoughts running through my head would drive me nuts. I didn’t know how to ask him to stay or maybe take me to his place for now.

I opened the door and stepped out. We didn’t say a word to each other. He looked lost in his thoughts. Did he even know the car had stopped?

I gave Morris a weak smile and walked to the building.

I was terrified. Everything suddenly felt scary, even my own shadow. I could feel my lungs expanding like they were about to blow my chest open.

I looked over my shoulder, feeling paranoid. I couldn’t be alone. I would just go up and change into a better outfit and grab Kayden’s picture I kept hidden in the bottom of a shoebox on the top shelf of my closet. I would walk through every alley and corner of this city till I found him. I took a deep breath and entered the elevator with my heart racing.

---