Page 40 of Rough Love

I swallow the lump in my throat, allowing his words to really penetrate this time. Earlier, he’d said the same thing and while I heard him, I didn’t listen. Is it really possible that night meant as much to them as it did to me? That my obsession and feelings for these men are valid and even reciprocated?

But…he didn’t say anything aboutthem. “What about—” I swallow again. Jesus, I need some water. Or vodka. Definitely, vodka. Eli’s eyes dart between mine and his jaw tightens for a second, just a second before he smirks at me.

“Oh, trust me, baby, those two are just as smitten as I am. They’re just too pig-headed to admit it and too sane to stalk you.” Eli chuckles. I smile, shaking my head and reveling in his words. “To answer your question from earlier,” he says, all humor disappearing from his features. Leaning back some, I squeeze his shoulders, urging him to continue. His mouth opens and closes a few times, before finally, he nods, “We are—”

A vibration beneath me cuts off his words and makes me jump. Realizing what the sound was, we both simultaneously look down at Eli’s pants as though his phone is some sort of foreign object. The vibration cuts off and when he makes no move to check it, I glance back up, waiting for him to continue. He opens his mouth, and the vibration starts over once more. Eli grunts and rolls his eyes before sliding his hand between our bodies to pluck the annoying device from his pocket.

I barely stifle a moan from the feeling of his hand gliding over my inner thigh as he shifts, and I have half a mind to demand he put the vibrating phone to better use. Eli grins at whatever he sees on my face and tugs me closer to him while listening to his messages. I grind down on the cock that’s been hard the entire time I’ve sat perched on top of him. He groans lowly, so I do it again, smiling coyly at him.

Eli palms my ass cheek, giving it a firm squeeze in warning but thrusts his hips up as though he can’t help himself. I’m just about to say fuck the conversation and drag him to my room when suddenly, Eli’s grin drops, and his face contorts from pleasure and playfulness to rage and if I’m not mistaken,fear.

He jumps up from the couch and just barely catches me before I go flying across the living room. Eli gives me a sheepish look and deposits me on the couch before turning his attention back to his phone. He taps away at something and from where I’m sitting, I can vaguely see him pinching the screen like he’s zooming in, before tapping away again. I sit, patiently, my heart racing from all of the rampant emotions coursing through my body.

What’s happened now? Is he going to run out on me again? More secrets? What was he about to say? Will it always be like this?

Finally, Eli pockets his phone and looks down at me. His face softens from its previous anger as he bends down and palms my cheek softly. “I’m so fucking sorry, Little Flower,” he sighs, regret lacing his tone. “I—”

“You have to go,” I cut in blandly. Eli cringes, but nods.

“They need me. They could be..” he pauses, swallowing thickly. “They could be hurt.”

That has my stupid self-deprecating, thoughts dissolving instantly, and I jump to my feet nearly colliding with Eli’s head. “What’s happened?” I practically shout, the sudden urge to, I don’t know,help, filling me rapidly.

Help.I could help.

Eli grunts, running his hand up the back of his neck. He squeezes as if to relieve the tension building there. I can tell he’s freaking out but trying to contain his reaction to whatever’s happened. He doesn’t need to do that with me though.

“I’m in, Eli. Whatever you were going to say, whatever is going on, I’m in.” My words are unyielding as stubbornness fills me. I cross my arms and though I have to look up a good 8 inches to see his face, I stare him down. His eyes flick back and forth between mine before he glances down at my posture, taking me in with a heated gaze.

Surprisingly, Eli barks out a laugh and shakes his head, his usual cool confidence making itself known once again. “You really mean that, huh?” I barely contain a growl that’s quickly brought on by his laughter. “Calm down, Kitten. I’m not laughing at you.”

Narrowing my eyes at him, I bark, “Don’t call me that!” I regret the words immediately, knowing that I just revealed another piece of my pathetic desperation. Eli’s eyes widen and he chuckles knowingly.

“Oh, fuck, he’s going to be so happy to hear this.” I open my mouth to tell him to keep his shut but his solemn expression returns as he closes the distance between us. Eli places his hands on my shoulders and yanks me into his body firmly, not letting me pull away when I try. “I swear to you Violet, I’m not running. I will tell you everything as soon as possible but I really have to go. I have to check on them, okay?”

An ache forms in the pit of my stomach, strong and incessant. It feels a lot like dread or a premonition. Despite my anger and irritation with all of this, with him, my arms wrap around his waist as I settle my head on his chest.

“Be careful,” I breathe, the words wrenched from my gut. I want to tell him not to go. Better yet, I want to go with him, for what reason, I have no clue. It’s not like I can help him, especially since I have no idea what the hell is even going on.

Eli squeezes me back, holding on as though he might also be feeling the same awful sense that something bad is going to happen. When he finally steps away, he grasps my jaw and kisses me, hard. It’s quick, borderline punishing, and over all too soon.

“I have to go, my rides here. I’ll call you tomorrow, Little Flower.”

And then, he’s gone.

But the anxiety in my gut only increases and it mixes with a healthy dose of annoyance, leaving me bitter and pissed off. Fuck this. I’m not being sidelined again. These douchebags don’t get to run in and out of my life as they see fit. I am not a set of holes to be used and abused. I’m more than a pussy and mouth. I have a brain, a damn good one at that. I’m tired of being overlooked and shut out.

No more.

Mind made up, I slide my shoes on, grab my phone and purse and run.

BAD GIRLS-M.I.A.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Noteventwominuteslater, I’m settled in my car and thankful for the fact that Eli had to have taken the stairs to leave my building. Only myself and my landlord have access to the private elevator that goes up to my loft space so I know I can’t be that far behind him.

Looking around the busy street frantically, my eyes catch on a black SUV that resembles the one the guys were in that night they drove me to my house a few months ago. It’s about a block away and stopped at one of the major intersections in my neighborhood. Glancing up and down the street once more, I find no other vehicle that screamsMafia, so I go with my gut and peal out of my spot to follow them. I cringe when I remember the god-awful bright color of my car which is hands down the worst choice for a covert tracking mission.

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