Page 69 of Rough Love

Things are still too new to insert a baby into the picture so my anxiety over our mistake is warranted but I want a family. I want kids. A lot of them if I’m being honest and I’m not getting any younger. If they didn’t want a baby that we’d created, I’d figure out how to be a single mom and I’d do a damn good job of it.

The prospect of a baby doesn’t scare me and it’s not what created my panic attack. It was the very real possibility and fear that they won’t wantmeany longer. That they will walk out on me, leaving me discarded and heartbroken once more.

My thoughts drift to Eli the other day when I’d jokingly said I was pregnant. Sure, he freaked out at first, but then…

A smile spreads across my face as my anxiety begins to wane. Eli wouldn’t leave, he said so himself. In fact, I think he would be happy. The memory of him on his knees, his eyes filled with unshed tears, his voice full of awe settles my nerves completely. We’ll be fine, I’m sure of it. That doesn’t mean we need to bring a baby into our lives right now though. Not yet.

Sighing, I stand and begin to remove my clothes but a muffled shout from outside of the bedroom has me freezing in my tracks. For a few moments, I stand still and listen but hear nothing. Shaking my head, I dismiss it and am just about to head back to bed when I hear it again.

Renz.

Quickly, I open the door and slip out. Why is he up in the middle of the night and who is he yelling at?

The penthouse is dimly lit, the glow from the kitchen light trickling through the rest of the main space. My socked feet slip and slide on the shiny marble floor, and I fight the urge to curse out loud when I almost do the splits.

Do these men wax this floor or something? Maybe it makes it easier to drag a dead body from one room to the next. I chuckle quietly at the thought then shiver when I realize it’s a very real possibility.

I know absolutely nothing about their world and not for the first time, I find myself extremely pissed off about my lack of knowledge. If only they would let me in, they might just see that I’m not as prissy and sensitive as they think.

Yeah, it might take me a while to fully wrap my head around things, but I meant it when I said I’m not afraid, nor will I run to the cops. For some crazy reason, my idiotic heart has decided to care about these men and to want them, their odd career choices be damned, so they may as well just let me in already.

Another shout, followed by a crash has me quickening my pace. I follow the muffled sound of a conversation through the house and down the long hallway where the guest bathroom and library are. The hallway is dark and ends in a fork, branching off into two smaller halls. I know the library is to the left, but I’ve yet to explore much else. I’ll have to ask the boys for a tour tomorrow.

Another shouted curse has me turning in the opposite direction and into the unknown. Everything is dark so the light spilling out from a partially open door at the end of the hall lets me know where Renz is hiding.

Channeling my inner spy, or perhaps Mafia—wait. What do you call a person belonging to the mafia? A member? Agent? No. Too professional. I feel like I’ve heard the wordcapotossed around in films. I’ll have to Google it.

Frowning at my ridiculous inner thoughts, I focus on the conversation Renz is having now that I’m close enough to hear his words through the open door. It’s obvious he’s on the phone and although I can’t hear the other side of the conversation, Renz is doing enough of the talking that I’m able to pick up a good portion of it.

“—No, that’s not good enough. You said you’d have answers for me.” Stepping forward, I lean against the wall so I’m not in front of the door and try to hear the other person but am unable to.

“What did Achilles say?” Another pause, this one longer, before, “So, definitely cyanide then.” Renz lets out a heavy sigh, but my brain can’t get past that word. Cyanide? Holy shit. “And your men found nothing on the bodies from the attack at the barbershop or the car accident?”

I try, I really fucking try to not get caught on the things he’s saying but without context, hearing Renz discuss attacks and bodies is enough to have my heart pounding. Swallowing, I force myself to focus, not wanting to miss a single word.

“I just don’t understand how after all this time, we still know nothing, it makes no sense but it’s not of your concern. Thank you for your work, Javier.”

Renz releases another long, drawn-out sigh and it’s clear that he’s hung up the phone. Before I have a chance to run, I hear footsteps and press myself further into the wall. But the sound of leather creaking heavily tells me that he’s sat down in an office chair or on a couch.

His breathing is harsh, and even from the hall, I can feel how stressed he is. I wish I was able to offer him comfort but I know he wouldn’t take kindly to me walking into his office. I’m just about to sneak off to bed when the sound of him dialing makes me pause.

Another phone call? Who else could he be calling at three in the morning?

“Lord, help me,” he murmurs before, “Hello, Matteo.”

Matteo? Where have I heard that name?

“Yes, of course, I know what time it is, you imbecile,” he snaps followed by a grunt of irritation. “You are my uncle, not my master or my boss, Matteo. The last I checked, I was the head of the family, not you.” His words are harsh and angry, and he barely gives the other man, Matteo, a chance to respond before he continues.

“I did not call to discuss the hierarchy of the Cosa Nostra, Zio. We have important matters to discuss.”The name Matteo reverberates through my head with familiarity as Renz speaks but I push the distracting thoughts aside and tune back into the conversation. “—yes, that’s correct. Nine attacks as of a few days ago. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen. They’ve come close a few times. We almost lost Isaac two months ago, but the fuckers failed.”

My heart drops into the pit of my stomach. Isaac almost died and from the sounds of it, all three men have had close brushes with death. Renz had mentioned the car accident, so I assume that includes Eli just two days ago.

“I have my suspicions as to who is responsible but nothing definitive yet. Honestly, Zio, I would appreciate your help in this.” A pause, and then, “I think it’s better discussed in person, no?”My brain begins to race, and the pounding of my heart makes it difficult to pay attention to Renz but then he says something that has me instantly tuning back in. “Yes, I appreciate you coming on such short notice. Tomorrow evening, 5:00 pm. Bethesda Terrace, Central Park. I’ll see you then.”

As Renz hangs up, all of the thoughts I’d been holding at bay come tumbling in like a tidal wave. Why are my men under attack and how is it possible that after so many attempts, they are still alive and well?Because they’re that good,my brain supplies. I roll my eyes. Or the attackers are just that shitty.

For whatever reason, it seems they haven’t been able to gleam any details to narrow down the culprit, and judging by the anxiety and tense vibes I’ve picked up from the men, it’s really taking a toll on them.

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