Page 51 of Rough Love

As we stand in a silent stare down, I reinforce the walls that were guarding my heart up until Eli showed up today and started banging on them, preparing for whatever evil, hateful thing Renz will say next.

Stepping forward, he bends down until once again, our faces are only inches apart. “You want to know what I think,Kitten?” I suck in a breath. Not because hefinallysaid it, but because of the way he said it. That was not a term of endearment, or a word said to bring me joy and pleasure as it had before. He said it like a curse. Like it tasted filthy in his mouth. Like he despises it and what it represents.

Walls, Violet. Keep them up.

Smirking, I hide my shaking hands behind my back and nod. “Sure,Mario, go for it.” His eyes flare with recognition and out of the corner of my eye, I see his hand twitch in my direction. I chuckle. How does it feel, asshole?

“Fine.” He says, his voice colder than I’ve ever heard it sound before. “You are a foolish, weak female. You allowed our enemy to see your pretty little face and your car all while you snapped photographs of him. You showed your hand and now you’re a witness to a crime with proof.” Leaning even closer, he rasps, “He will kill you.”

The air between us is so thick, I choke on it. Anger, terror, and sexual frustration all war for dominance. The tension feels like a cord being pulled to its absolute limits, ready to snap at any moment. My lungs heave for air and my body sways toward him, seeking him,needinghim. But then, his words penetrate the fog surrounding me.

“Dead?” I squeak, my eyes wide as fear trickles in like ice along my spine. Why would they want me dead? Just because I saw him doesn’t mean I’m a threat. A lot of people were on that street and I’m sure there are traffic cameras. Why just me?

His jaw ticks and I see a flicker of the same fear cross his features. It’s gone so quickly, I’m not sure if I imagined it. Renz nods and then stands, putting distance between us. My lips tingle with longing. He was close. So damn close. My body feels like a live wire, unsure if I want him to come back or if I should just say fuck it and run away, leaving all of this, all of them, in my past.

Maybe that’s where they were meant to stay….

“We need to focus on what’s in front of us and not what may or may not happen. Yes, Violet, he saw you and while that likely puts a target on your back, we will not allow anything to happen to you. He may have gotten the drop on Eli, but we are not untrained nobodies.” Zac’s words effectively calm my anxiety. Mostly. I smile at him as I drop back down to Eli’s side.

Exhaustion rams into me like a big rig. Not only has today been insane but I’ve been awake for just under twenty-four hours. Eli pulls a plush throw off the back of the couch and drapes it over me before pulling me further into his body. He wraps an arm around my waist, swaddling me in comfort and warmth that I happily sink into.

Kissing my forehead, he murmurs, “Go to sleep, Little Flower, you’re safe, I swear. We’ll talk more tomorrow.”

Surrounded by the three men who’ve plagued both my memories and my dreams for months, I fall asleep knowing that no matter what, they have me.

In more ways than one.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Iwouldneverphysicallylash out against my significant other in anger, but Eli isn’t just my unofficial boyfriend and lover, he’s my best friend.

Therefore, I find the fresh black eye he’s nursing, completely acceptable.

“Still can’t believe you hit me,” he grumbles like a petulant child receiving their first spanking. I shoot him a glare from across the office. We’d moved our meeting here after Violet had passed out on the couch. Eli threw a silent fit but tucked her in, practically cocooning her in the blanket when Renz had discretely demanded we leave her there for the remainder of the night.

Completely fed up with his whining, especially after all of the shit that happened today, I snap.

“What the fuck were you thinking, Elijah? I can’t believe you’d be so foolish as to take off like that when we’re under attack. You could have died!” I roar the last word and I’m surprised that I don’t choke on the macabre images that flash through my mind at the thought. “And even worse, you brought her right into the middle of it all!”

By the time I’ve finished speaking, I’m shaking with fury. I’ve been so angry with him all day for his reckless decision to go after her, but more than that, I’ve been fuckingworried. Terrified, even. I knew something could go wrong, that he could be attacked, and when he refused to answer his phone, I damn near lost it.

I may not have much in this world, but I have them. Renz and Eli. That’s it. There is no one else out there who gives a single fuck about my life the way that they do and if I lost either of them…

No. Not happening.

Eli’s whining ends abruptly with my words. He considers me, noting my shaking hands and heaving chest before finally, it sinks in. His bruised and swollen face settles into something softer, more understanding. I’m not sure how I feel about the fact that I’m being so transparent right now, but I find that I am too exhausted to mask my emotions, even though we aren’t alone.

The thought has me dragging my gaze to my cousin who is sitting behind the desk, heavily immersed in its wood grain pattern. Despite my anger and anxiety, my lips twitch. I appreciate him holding in his own wild emotions to give us the illusion of privacy for what has turned into something I hadn’t intended.

Eli sighs and stands, stretching out his long, muscular body. He’s a few inches taller than me and much broader than my lean form. Physically, he makes me feel small, and surprisingly, I find that I like the feeling. It’s not something I ever thought I’d enjoy, being looked down on, but when Eli stands before me, his soul focus and attention fixated on me, I don’t feel small or insignificant. I feel seen in a way I never have before.

He pays Renz absolutely no attention as he wraps his arms around my shoulders and tugs me into his body, hugging me tightly. I try to push him away. Hiding our mutual attraction and pretending to be something I’m not, is almost second nature at this point. The idea of being physical with him, or even allowing my guard down, in front of anyone else is still uncomfortable. I feel exposed, as though I’m naked in public.

Eli doesn’t let me escape though and the longer he forces me into submission, his arms like a steel band around my body, the more I begin to relax. My breath rushes out of me in a shaky exhale as I finally return the embrace. Something inside of me settles immediately. All the worry and anxiety over his safety, coupled with the fact that Renz had also been attacked today, finally begins to ebb. My two people, my only people, almost died today and I wasn’t there to protect them.

And Violet….

Yes, Violet. Seeing her terrified face peek out from behind Eli, her clothing covered in blood—it was too much. A whirlwind of thoughts and emotions barreled through me with a force so sudden and strong that I’d almost vomited right then and there. Despite the fact that I’d known Eli had been with her today, I was understandably shocked to see her in our home.

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