Page 15 of Cougar

Willow has been glued to Jay’s side since the day of the funeral, watching Disney movie marathons. Little ones are extremely intuitive to our emotions. Willow knows she’s sad, and I think in her own way, she’s taking care of Jay.

* * *

As my family says their goodbyes, Max kindly asks me to reconsider sending Jay home with them. I kindly decline.

Alex stands at the door while the rest are loading their luggage into Bass’s SUV. “I think I should stay,” he suggests. His worried gaze drifts toward the stairs.

“You’ve missed enough school as it is. You need to stay on schedule so you can graduate this summer.”

Alex is currently living in Heritage Bay, finishing his degree in music education while co-managing Mac’s with Dylan. Mac’s, short for Mackenzie and the nickname my father goes by, is owned by Max. Apparently the restaurant does very well.

Alex nods, but the worry is still etched on his face.

“She has a call scheduled with Dr. Ramos later today,” I tell him.

“Okay.” He nods again. “Do you think she’d mind if I called her?”

I frown. “Of course not. Jay adores you, Alex.” I lean in and whisper, “She may not know the truth, but you’re still family to her.”

After saying goodbye to Alex and my family one last time, I make my way up to Jay’s room and find her sleeping. Tiptoeing to the bed, I climb in beside her, careful not to wake her, and close my eyes.

Emerson

The California sun beams through the floor-to-ceiling windows of my bedroom. I hadn’t bothered to draw the blackout curtains before I crawled into bed yesterday. Or was it the day before? I don’t even know what day it is anymore. I’ve only managed to get out of bed the last few days to pee and to check on Jay.

She hasn’t left her bed, much less her room. But that’s going to change as of today.

For the last two years, I’ve been functioning on autopilot and have become a shell of the woman I once was. Hollow. Lost. Numb. Weak. Scared. Soulless. I hardly remember the woman I used to be, but I know she’s still somewhere deep inside, willing herself to fight her way back to the surface. I’ve decided that today is the day I’m going to find that woman and bring her back, a better version for myself and for Jay.

My phone buzzes on the nightstand beside my bed. My arm feels heavy as I reach over and pick it up to see Liam’s face on the screen. I also notice it’s 1:30 p.m.Christ.I hit the Answer button and clear my throat as I bring the phone to my ear.

“Hello.”

“Were you sleeping?” he scoffs.

“No,” I lie.

“Bullshit.” He laughs. “It’s okay, Em. I’m not judging you. You’ve been through hell, and you deserve to rest.” It’s true. I just wish it were that easy.

“Yeah,” I breathe. “Don’t you have a game today?” Liam is in Arizona for spring training.

“Tonight,” he informs me. “I wanted to check on you and my baby, first. I tried calling her but she didn’t pick up.”

A laugh bubbles from my mouth. “She hates when you call her that, Liam.” Although I think it’s sweet because it’s proof that my baby brother is capable of caring about someone other than himself.

Liam’s favorite person, besides himself, is Jay. Liam was only ten when Jay was born, and he was completely fascinated with her. She quickly became his favorite person, probably because she was the first girl born into a family full of boys. He called her his baby until she hit puberty and declared she wasn’t anyone’s baby. I think it hurt his feelings a little bit, but he’s the most stubborn of us all, so he still calls her his baby behind her back.

After spending almost thirty minutes on the phone, convincing Liam that I’m fine and promising to have Jay call, we hang up. I pop into the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face, then go to Jay’s room to check on her before I head down to the kitchen where I find our housekeeper, Grace, staring out the window.

“Hey, Grace.” I place my hand on her back and lean my head to the side. “You doing okay?”

She gives me a sad smile and a slight shake of her head.

I wrap my arms around her and rest my head on her shoulder. “I miss him, too, Grace,” I sigh. “So much.”

Losing Marcus has been really hard on her. Until I came into the picture, Marcus was all the family she had. Our first night together over dinner, Marcus explained that Grace had lived in the apartment across the hall from him and his bandmates before Royal Mayhem had gotten their record deal. Grace had just moved to the States with her husband before he was robbed and killed on his way home from work. Marcus and the guys looked after her. And when they got their first record deal, he hired her. She’d been working for Marcus for several years before he brought me home, and she’s certainly lived up to her name.

One thing I do know for sure, I’m not leaving California without her.

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