Page 95 of Cougar

She tilts her head. “Says who?”

I heave out a heavy sigh. “I don’t know. Me. Society.”

She bristles. “Since when does society get to decide when it’s acceptable to move on with your life? Fuck society. So what? You’re supposed to sit around in that big house and do what exactly? Your husband didn’t just suddenly die. He was sick and he suffered. You suffered. My baby girl suffered. This entire family suffered. There’s no expiration date on grief. You’ll never stop grieving for Marcus, but it doesn’t mean you can’t go on living your life.”

“I realized after Marcus died that I’ve been in back-to-back relationships since ninth grade.” I snort.

“Are you in a relationship with Cam?”

Honestly, I don’t know. I can’t stop thinking about what I overheard. Who is Jules? Do I even have the right to ask?

“I’m not really sure what we are.” I shrug. “I care deeply for him, and I guess in a way I’ve always loved him because he’s Cam. But I don’t know if I could love him the way I loved Marcus.”

“The love you had for Marcus isn’t something that can be replaced by your love for Cam. There’s plenty of room in your heart for both.”

“I’m not ready to love again. Not like that.”

“Honey, I don’t think you get to decide when you’re ready. Your heart will decide what it wants and when.”

* * *

Cam

“Cameron, I feel like I haven’t seen you in weeks,” my mother says, wrapping her petite arms around my neck and kissing my cheek before taking the seat across from me at the kitchen table.

“I’m sorry. I’ve been a little preoccupied in my free time.” I smirk.

She smiles. “Oh?” She props her elbow on the table and rests her chin in her palm. “Are you still seeing Jules?”

I shake my head. “No. We ended things a few months ago.”

She reaches across the table and rests her hand on top of mine. “Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry. It’s been ten years. Maybe it’s time to move on.” She’s sweet and a little naïve if she thinks I’ve only been with Jules for the past ten years.

I let out a soft chuckle. “We’re fine, Mom. We’re still good friends. It’s just that….” I pause, leaning back in the chair and clasping my hands behind my neck.

“I think I know what’s going on.”

I raise my brows. “You do?”

“Yes, and I want you to know your father and I love you no matter what.”

My brows furrow. “Okay,” I drawl. “What are you talking about?”

“You’re gay.” I lean my head back and laugh. “I mean seriously, Cameron. Who the hell dates a girl for ten years—a beautiful girl—and doesn’t marry her?”

I nearly choke on my gum and accidentally swallow it.

“Mom.” I cough. “Jules has been my best friend for ten years. We dated off and on, but it was never serious. We had our fun, but we’re all grown up now and we want different things. I’ll always care about her, and we’re still great friends. And though I appreciate the fact that I have two amazing, nonjudgmental parents, I’m not gay. I’m actually seeing someone.”

She brings her hand to her chest. “Really?”

“Yes. That’s kinda why I came by. I need to tell you something.”

“What is it?” She gives me a shaky smile. “You’re making me nervous.”

“Before I tell you, I want you to know that it’s very new, but I’m in love with her and as soon as she realizes she loves me, too, I’m going to marry her.”

She brings her hand to her mouth, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. “Who is she?”

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