Page 53 of Cougar

“Honey, no. That’s not what I’m saying. Marcus was the best thing that ever happened to you. I’m talking about you. You couldn’t get away from here fast enough, and then you became a whole different person in California. You’re so… guarded.”

That’s the second time this week I’ve heard that word.

“I was married to a rock star. A very famous one. The only people I could trust in my daily life were Marcus, Bass, and Grace. And for the longest time, I struggled to trust Marcus.”

“Well you’re here now. We want you to be happy. We want the old Emerson back. Let us be here for you.”

“I’m sorry to disappoint you, Mother, but this is who I am. I’m not that eighteen-year-old girl anymore. I’m a forty-year-old widow with a sheltered teen. I’m guarded because it’s the only way to stay strong. Some days I struggle because I don’t even know who I am without Marcus. If I wasn’t managing his life, I was preparing him for death.”

“Emerson!” she chides, shocked.

I shake my head. “I’m sorry. You know I didn’t mean it that way, but it’s the truth. While you all were here preparing for our transition, I was preparing Marcus for his. There were things he needed to do before he was too sick to do them. He wrote letters to Jayla, one for every important milestone or holiday over the next year, one for the day we finally tell her about Alex, and one for her wedding day. I’m the one who has to give them to her, and I’m the one who has to put her back together every time she falls apart. You saw her the other day with those sunglasses on her face. You heard what she said. ‘Her eyes hurt,’ and you know why that was. Because she’d been crying over a simple letter welcoming her to her new home. That was just the first one. So I’m sorry, Mother, but if I let my guard down, I will completely fall apart.”

* * *

Cam

“Cameron,” Emerson drawls on the other end of the phone, and I stifle back a groan at how sexy she sounds.

“I need a favor.”

“What’s up?”

“I need to borrow your washing machine. Mine isn't working, and the guy can't get here until tomorrow. I could take it over to my parents’, but then I’ll have to listen to my mother drill me for three hours about how thirty will be here before I know it, and I should find a nice girl to settle down with and start a family.”

“How do you know I won’t drill you for three hours?” she asks, and I nearly drop my phone.She’s killing me.I’d love nothing more than to drill her for three hours.

“Because you’re not my mother,” I reply.

“True that.” She snickers. “Come on over. I’d love the company.”

“Here,” Emerson said as she set down a platter of marinated steaks beside the grill before turning to head back inside the house.

I hadn’t realized I was staring until Marcus stated, “You love her.”

I jerked my gaze to him. His eyes were still locked on Emerson as he took a sip from his water bottle. His eyes were always on her, tracking her movements. The man was obsessed with his wife. Not in a creepy way, but in an admirable way.

I tried to pretend as if I hadn’t been busted ogling his wife. “Who?”

He nodded in the direction of where Emerson had just gone.

“Em?” I frowned. “Of course I do. She’s family.”

Marcus turned his skeptical eyes on me and pinned me with a knowing look that said I was full of shit. “I see the way you look at her.”

“How do I look at her?”

“The same way I do.”

I had always had a crush on Emerson, but that’s all it ever was. Or so I’d thought.

“And if I told you it was just a stupid teenage crush?”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “You can’t mask that kind of love, Cam.”

Well fuck.“I don’t even know how to respond to that.” I sighed in defeat. “I’m sorry, man. It really is just a teenage crush. Kind of like a kid crushing on a babysitter. I would never disrespect you.”

Marcus chuckled and threw an arm around my shoulders. “You’re a good man, Cam.” He lowered his voice. “Take the offer with the Tornadoes. I promise you the sacrifice will be worth it in the end.”

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