Page 49 of Cougar

I nod once. “I am.” An awkward tension fills the space between us as we stand on opposite sides of the elevator taking each other in, seeking out the familiarity we once had.

The years have been kind to Chris. He’s classically handsome, in a preppy, all-American, pretty boy sort of way. He still has a full head of dirty-blond hair with a few grays mixed in, eyes the color of honey and skin golden from years spent in the Florida sun. His athletic physique is evidence of his years playing football. I don’t know if he ever went on to play in college, because I never asked and my parents knew better than to bring up his name.

My gaze falls to the pocket of his white lab coat which reads “Dr. Wells,” and there’s a pair of glasses tucked inside. I smile to myself, thinking how much we’ve changed over the last twenty-two years. We were just teenagers the last time we saw each other. Teenagers who thought we had life all figured out and that forty was old.

As if he’s reading my mind, he says, “I knew you’d always be beautiful, Emerson.”

My hands tighten around the straps of my purse and I lower my gaze to the floor. The ding of the elevator is my saving grace; as soon as the doors slide open, I step out and exhale a deep breath of relief.

“There’s a break room right around the corner,” Chris says as he moves to stand beside me. “Want a grab a cup of coffee while you wait for Mac?”

“That’s okay. I can just wait in his office.”

Tucking his hands inside the pockets of his dark dress pants, he drops his gaze to the floor and blows out a breath of his own before bringing his eyes back up to meet mine. “It’s just a cup of coffee, Emerson,” he says softly, and I don’t know why, but I feel a little flutter of guilt in the pit of my stomach.He’s nervous.

Honestly, I hadn’t even considered what I would say to him if we were to run into each other after all these years. Not that I’ve ever had a problem speaking my mind, but I feel caught off guard. I hadn’t exactly planned for a trip down memory lane with my ex today.

“Okay.” I nod once with a tight smile on my face.

As we make our way down, Chris points out my father’s office a few doors down from the break room that looks more like a mini-cafeteria. He gestures to an empty bistro table near the window away from the other staff members. “Grab a seat. I’ll get the coffee.”

While he’s gone, I shoot my father a text to let him know where to find me when he’s finished.

Chris arrives with two coffees and places one down on the table in front of me, then reaches in his pocket. “I wasn’t sure what you liked in your coffee.” He pulls out a handful of creamers, sugar packets and artificial sweeteners and sets them on the table before taking the seat across from me. “I can’t tell you how many times I rehearsed in my head what I’d say to you if I ever got the chance to tell you I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to do this. It’s in the past.” I wave him off.

“Emerson, please… just hear me out.”

Exhaling a heavy sigh, I say, “Okay.”

“I want to start from the beginning.” I cringe at the memories: him kissing the whore, Mike in bed with the same whore, the slap from Elizabeth. “I’m sorry I screwed up. It only happened that one time, if you want to know the truth.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

He sighs. “No, I guess it doesn’t. That look on your face the night you confronted me has haunted me every day. If I could go back, I would’ve dropped down on my knees right then and begged you to forgive me. To give me another chance.” He takes a sip of his coffee. “I didn’t go back to the party that night. I didn’t want to risk running into Rebecca”—I wince at the sound of the whore’s name—“and I wasn’t about to let the girl I loved walk home alone in the dark. Your dad and Max would’ve kicked my ass if something had happened to you.” I smile because it’s true. “You didn’t even say goodbye, Emerson. You just left.”

“Do you think you deserved one after what you did?”

“Yes.” He raises his brows. “What I did was awful and it changed my entire life. But we were together for four years and friends for even longer. I may not have deserved your forgiveness or even a second chance, but a goodbye? Yes.”

“You hurt me and ruined our friendship. I didn’t care about what you wanted. I was so pissed at you, at Mike, at Elizabeth—”

“I know.” Chris shakes his head. “I ruined everything.” He huffs out a single laugh of disbelief. “All for an easy piece of ass. It took me three days to get up the courage to go over to your house, to beg for forgiveness and apologize to your family for disrespecting you. Your dad answered the door and told me you were gone. I told him I’d hurt you. I’d never seen him so mad. He told me to fuck off and slammed the door in my face, but not before Liam flipped me off in the background.” He snorts a laugh. “I barely made it off the front porch before Max was out the door. He kicked my ass all the way down the driveway, all while telling me I was a piece of shit who didn’t deserve his baby sister.”

I had no idea Max had done that.

“So what happened with the so-called easy piece of ass?”

“I married her.”

“You married that whore?” I ask a little too loud, earning curious looks from a few of the staff members.

“Hey, now. That’s the mother of my child you’re talking about,” he chides playfully.

“Sorry.” I shake my head. “I can’t believe you, Mr. Popular-football-star, married the high school whorebag.” My parents never mentioned that he’d gotten married. Although, any mention of Chris, Mike or Elizabeth was a nonstarter for me. They were part of my past.

“She wasn’t that bad.” Guess no one ever told him she’d almost screwed his best friend just hours after she’d been with him. “After you left, she came around a few times, but I didn’t want anything to do with her. A few years later, we bumped into each other during winter break. She got pregnant. We got married.”

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