Page 12 of Cougar

“Alex, you came into our lives at the most inopportune time.” He looks over at me with a frown and I hold up my hand. “I’m not saying you were an inconvenience. If anything, you were a blessing. He wasn’t trying to hide you, honey. He was trying to protect us all from a media shitstorm. Marcus loved you before he even met you, and he was proud of you. It devastated him that he didn’t get more time with you before the cancer took over.”

He drops his head. “I loved him, too, and I wish I’d gotten more time with him. I wish my mom hadn’t waited so long….” He shakes his head, letting his words hang in the air.

Alex had always known the man who raised him wasn’t his biological father. When he turned eighteen, his mother finally told him about Marcus.

“Alex.” I place my hand on his back. “Your mom was trying to protect you, too. She didn’t want to risk your anonymity. The media can be pretty aggressive and cruel, taking something so innocent and personal and twisting it into filthy gossip. If they’d found out about you, your life would’ve taken a different turn. Your childhood would’ve been tainted. Your mother sacrificed her pride to give you a normal childhood. I envy her for that. Jay will never know normal. I don’t regret keeping her out of the public eye, but I do regret that Marcus and I couldn’t give her normal.”

“I think she turned out to be pretty amazing.”

“She is pretty amazing,” I agree with a smile.

“I think you’re pretty amazing, too.” He bumps his shoulder against mine.

“Alex.” He looks over at me. “I want you to know that you’re important to this family, and I’m happy to have you in our lives. I need time to get Jay settled in Heritage Bay, but I promise, as soon as things settle down, we’ll tell her the truth.”

“Okay.” He nods. “Either way, she’s gonna be pissed that Marcus kept this from her. I just hope she doesn’t find out before we get the chance to tell her.”

“She won’t.”

* * *

“We’re heading back in a couple of days,” Max informs me. “Have you talked to Jay about going back with us?”

I shake my head as my gaze flicks to the stairs. Jay’s hardly left her room since the funeral. She won’t leave California. “She’s staying here.”

My mother inhales sharply through her nose, and it looks like she’s about to speak up, but my brother cuts her off. “Em,” he starts again. “Marcus wanted—”

My head snaps in his direction. “I know what he wanted, Max,” I hiss. “But it’s not what I want. Last I checked, I’m still her parent. She’s staying.”

“Why don’t you both go?” Liam suggests.

I love my family, but they just don’t get it. I stand up from the sofa and point to my chest. “Because this is my home, and I’m not ready to leave!” I shout. “I know you’re all trying to help and I appreciate it, I really do, but I’m suffocating here, so please just back the hell off.” Before I say something I’ll regret later, I turn and storm out the back door.

What was Marcus thinking?How could he think Jay would be okay with being uprooted from the only home she’s ever known and sent to a place she’s never been?

“I want you to go home,” Marcus said beside me as we watched the sunset.

I frowned and looked over at him, confused. “I am home.”

He shook his head, keeping his gaze fixed straight ahead. “After I’m gone, I want you to take Jaybird and go back to Heritage Bay with your family.”

I don’t know what part of that sentence hit me the hardest, but I hated every word. “Heritage Bay is not my home. This is my home.”

He shook his head again. “I don’t want her here, in California, after I’m gone. I know what the media and the paparazzi are capable of, and I don’t want them near my family. They’ll harass you. They’ll scare her. I want to die knowing my girls are safe.”

“Don’t say that!” I yelled as I moved to stand and burst into tears.

Grabbing my hand, Marcus tugged me down into his lap and wrapped his arms around me. I buried my face in my hands and cried harder than I’ve ever cried in my life. And Marcus let me. He didn’t ask me to stop.

Instead, he tightened his hold on me and said, “I don’t want to spend the last year of my life in denial. I’m dying, Emerson. You need to accept it so we can move forward. Will you do that for me?”

I nodded reluctantly. “Okay,” I lied, and he knew it. “I love you, Marcus.”

“For eternity,” he whispered. And for the first time since our daughter was born, Marcus cried.

“Let me guess,” a familiar male voice startles me. I look over my shoulder to see Cam walking toward me, wearing a timid smile. “Max?”

“Marcus,” I huff before turning my attention back to the water as the last sliver of sunlight disappears.

---