Page 78 of Just Shred

“He knew the weather was changing that day, and still I made him ride with me,” I say, struggling to speak the words.

“Ronnie never did anything he didn’t want to do. He loved those Sundays with you. Riding backcountry is always dangerous, even as an experienced rider like him,” he says soothingly.

“But I forgot my avalanche backpack, and he gave me his. If I hadn’t been so stupid—”

“Acie, stop it,” he says, grabbing my arms and shaking me. “It wasn’t your fault. You can’t blame yourself, it was an accident.”

“Norman is right, baby,” Mom says, wiping my tears away.

“If it hadn’t been for me—” I bite on my lip.

“Don’t do that, honey. It was an accident. He knew the route he was taking was dangerous. He just wanted to take one last ride. You know how many last rides I took when you kids were little? Any of those times, shit could have gone south, but it didn’t,” he whispers, his voice cracking in the end.

“You were sixteen years old, still a kid,” Mom says.

“I dream about him sometimes, that he’s the one who finds me in the snow,” I confess, the pain slicing my locked heart open.

My father’s eyes water, because he was the one who found my brother buried under the snow after a day with the search and rescue party.

“Is this the reason why you stayed away? Because you blamed yourself?” Mom asks, her voice trembling.

I grab one handlebar and hang my head. Remembering how Ronnie taught me how to ride a motorcycle, how he loved to take long walks in the woods with me. By not visiting my parents, I’ve pushed away a big part of myself. A part of myself I didn’t even know I lost before Jesse saved me up on that mountain. My parents take me into their arms, like they never want to let me go, and I know I can’t keep running like I’ve been doing the last years.

They ask me to have dinner. I stay and watch them cook while Guns ‘N Roses plays in the background. After a while, Angie and my brother arrive.

“Did everything work out okay with that Winchester kid?” Layne whispers in my ear.

I nod. “Better than okay, although I know I could have fucked it up like I always do.”

He gives me a hug before he follows my dad into his study.

Angie helps my mom slice some tomatoes, and I work on chopping the onions.

“Till when can you stay at their place?” Angie asks.

“For a week.”

“You can get your old room if you want,” Mom chimes in.

“Thanks, Mom, but I think I need to branch out on my own.”

“I can’t believe you’re staying,” Angie says, taking her seat on a kitchen stool.

“Only for a little while, until I make up my mind what I want to do,” I tell her, although I don’t really want to hit the road.

Mom smiles. “Has snowboard guy had something to do with your change of heart?”

“Mom,” I say, laughing, “is it that obvious?”

“I recognize the look in your eyes, honey. I had the same one when I fell in love with your father. And everyone saw that kiss on the big screen, baby.” She grins.

“Shit,” I mumble, popping a piece of tomato in my mouth, while my cheeks heat.

“Those snowboarders know how to stake their claim.” Angie snickers.

Mom shakes her head and snorts. “The guys mean well,” she says, and we burst out laughing. “And I’m so glad you told us we are going to be grandparents.”

Angie smiles. “Layne can’t keep a secret if his life depended on it.”

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