Page 103 of X My Heart

Two weeks later

Hunter

I’ve been on the road for two weeks, and I’m still no closer to the number one spot. Sky talks to Jay every other day on the phone. I text her every night; we talk about everything, and I get to know her even more. One night she even let me watch as she got herself off, and I was right behind her. My dick twitches in my pants at the thought, fuck that was hot. I can’t wait to go home and spend more time with her, maybe I can convince her to stay in California, with Jay and me. The BMX season is almost over. I won most of the previous cancelled runs, but lost in Colorado. I’m behind Ryan in the stats but I still have a couple of races left to ride in Chula Vista. I missed her, for the first time in my life I want my girl to watch me from the sidelines. My girl, has a nice ring to it, I think, going through my sponsor boxes.

“Have you forgotten our deal?” Neil asks when he catches me alone in the BMX trailer.

“Fuck you, Neil,” I tell him, tossing a sponsor shirt on the workbench. “I’m not gonna race for you. I don’t care what I have to do to get out of our deal, I’m done.”

“You are making a big mistake, boy. You know how much money you can earn riding for me.”

I shake my head, grabbing the edge of the table for support.

“You promised you would ride for me when you got what you wanted from Jay. We signed a contract. If you forfeit, you have to pay up even more than you already owe me.”

I jump out of the trailer and Neil follows me. “It was a mistake to sign that deal with you. I’m going to tell Jay everything. I’m not going to leave him, we’ll figure it out on our own.”

Neil shakes his head. “You better pay me back,” scraping knuckles, which are decked out with gold rings, over his jaw. “You are just like Jay.”

“You bet your ass I am,” I sneer.

He glances at his gold Rolex watch. “No eyes for the stars. You two deserve each other.”

“Fuck you, Neil,” I spit out.

“Just give me my damn money, boy.”

I watch him leave, not knowing what to say. “Fuck,” I yell, throwing a bike wheel against the ground. How the hell could I’ve been so stupid?

Sky

The next day

It’s late in the afternoon and I’m starting to get hungry. I put the leftover pizza in the oven from yesterday evening, when the guys came back from Colorado. I smile thinking about the talk I had with Hunter’s father. He was a kind man, not scary, like the picture I concocted in my head. I told him about Hunter’s and Jay’s money problems and he promised to help where he could. He walked me back to Timothy who was laughing and talking to a couple vest wearing guys. No matter where Tim goes he always makes friends. I didn’t tell any of the guys I visited the clubhouse. I did get a text this morning from Oliver saying he was going to take care of everything. I didn’t want to ask what he meant by that.

Jay and Drew left early in the morning for another meeting with Mac in San Diego. After their meeting they would cross the border for Tijuana to meet up with a friend of theirs who works on BMX bikes in his spare time. I didn’t talk to Hunter last night, or when he came over for breakfast; I pretended I was sleeping. He did send me a couple of texts saying he was going on a drive up the coast to clear his head, and when he came back we needed to talk about us. I didn’t respond, because I have no idea what I should tell him, because when I do there isn’t going to be an us.

I almost lose my balance and grab the kitchen table for support. I run my hands through my hair and cringe as the greasy strands slide through my fingers. Maybe a shower will do me good.

Slowly, I head up the stairs. I click on Spotify and Oasis fills the room. I strip and turn on the warm shower, letting the water soothe my skin. Dizziness takes me hostage, and I lean against the wall.

I push my wet hair out of my face with trembling hands, trying to shift from one foot to the other. After a while, my legs start to shake and I clutch the shower curtain for support before my knees give out and I slump down the cold tiled wall onto the floor. I try to stand but my legs won’t move.

“No, please no,” I whisper. I hug my knees to my chest, shaking as the water slams against me. After a while, I close my eyes and let my tears run free. I can’t fight it anymore. I don’t want to.

And then it hits me how much I’ve missed Hunter these last two weeks. I love him, and I hate myself for loving him when I know I will only break his heart like it has been broken before. I need to let him go; I will destroy him if I don’t. But I need him, and I fucking hate and love him for giving me another reason to stay.

Hunter

I rev my bike as I motor up the driveway. I reach the house; there’s smoke coming out of the kitchen window.

“What in the …” I mutter, placing my helmet on the bike and running to the house. When I open the back door, the kitchen is filled with smoke.

“What the fuck?” I choke. There’s something burning in the oven. The smoke begins to disappear after I open another window. Still, I almost stumble a couple of times because I can’t see shit.

Angrily, I grab a towel and place the black mess in the sink. Damn. The smoke alarm starts ringing. “Christ,” I grumble, grabbing a chair and turning the alarm off. “Shit, Shorty. What were you thinking?” I drawl, coughing my lungs out.

The shower is running upstairs. I grit my teeth. Screw her, I think, as I stomp up the stairs, taking them two steps at a time. It doesn’t matter if there is a fucking big chance she pushes me away. I’m going to talk to her right now.

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