“Wow.”
“Is there a problem?”
“You used to blame Mom for everything.”
His head snapped back at me. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I’d hear you arguing. You used to blame her for whatever had gone wrong between you, even though you weren’t home that much.”
“That was the height of our touring, you know that. And now you know how that goes.” He smoothed his wet hair back from his face. “Beck, your mom’s a good person, strongest person I know. She gave me you, but man, she was a case and a half. And, no, that does not excuse me cheating on her, but I couldn’t take it anymore. Half the time I think toward the end she pulled back even more on purpose, forcing my hand. I think she enjoyed watching me flail, some people are like that. Bottom line, we couldn’t communicate. I bailed and put an end to it.”
Back in the day, when Mom was out, she was out. Cold heartless assassin. I’d seen it with many a “boyfriend” of hers.
“I’m sorry about you and Pam not getting along, but this, with Astra, is how you’re handling shit?”
“No. Just…I don’t know. Pam’s copped this attitude for a long time now, and we’re both in this endless cycle of resentment with each other. Pretty tedious. A fucking mess. I’m done being miserable.”
We both hiked up onto the edge of the pool, our legs in the water. Poppy’s enormous floating pink flamingo bobbed toward us. “I don’t know what I’m doing, but I’m not unhappy, and that’s something.”Dad kicked at the flamingo, and it jerked and bopped away from us, crashing into the jumbo floating swan. The two of them teetered on the water.
The lines of Dad’s face were etched deeply as his gaze glued to the surface of the pool as if the chlorinated water was some kind of magic brew that would provide him with an answer to his ills. That wasn’t going to happen. He was the only one who could deal with his shit.
“So you’re getting a divorce then?”
“No idea. I still have feelings for Pam, we’re a family.”
“And I thought I was fucked in the head about women.”
Dad gave me a small shove on a laugh. “What a bitch move, that Mae. Did disappearing in South Dakota help?”
“It did.”
“Oh yeah?” He chuckled dryly. Dad was born and raised in South Dakota, but he hadn’t been back since he and Mom had gotten their divorce. He’d stayed in L.A., and Mom and I had stayed in Rapid City until I’d come here when I got into the performing arts high school.
“Holing up at Mom’s house on my own was perfect. Rode my bike. Saw Wes, Zoë.”
Had an amazing time with an incredible woman.
“Hmm.” Dad picked up his sunglasses from a small table nearby and plonked them on his face. He had just turned fifty but looked more like a wise and rough around the edges thirty-something. He worked out like a dog, had the lean body and the cut muscles to show for it, and his thick hair tinged with gray all gave him that growly been-there-done-that-shit-what-of-it-you-son-of-a-bitch look. “Now you’re in the middle of a PR shitstorm, huh? Naomi handling everything?”
“If she had her way, I’d be the one fucking Astra right now posting photos of us online to prove it.”
He let out a huff of air. “Were you supposed to be on that yacht in Italy with Mae?”
“No…I don’t know. We hadn’t talked for a few weeks. A couple of quick texts that was it. We hadn’t made any vacation plans. We’d discussed getting together after my tour was over in vague terms, but neither of us had come up with a specific idea or plan.” My gaze went back to the blue water. “I hadn’t thought of that.”
“Who needs Italy?” Dad thumped me on the back. “But you really should go let off steam somewhere now that you have free time. Somewhere safe with friends, something.”
“I guess.”
“No, seriously. Do it. Never let your time off go to waste. It’s precious, and you need it.”
“I need to get my own place.” I raked a hand through my wet hair. “I’m over living in your pool house, and you obviously need your privacy.”
He let out a rumbling laugh. “You should. You certainly can afford it now.”
“I certainly can.” I shot him a grin. “I’ll talk to Mack about it.” Our lawyer was very well connected here in L.A.
“Did you get any writing done at your mom’s since you were alone?”