Page 66 of Fury

My watery eyes hung on his. Something pinched inside my chest and twisted and twisted. This was the first time I’d be alone. On my own, without the framework of the Smoking Guns, without a specific place in a horrible hierarchy which was, of course, liberating, but also oddly terrifying. Now, I would be without Justin.

When I’d first met him a spark had gone off inside me and unspooled everything I’d had rolled up tight. All the long weeks afterward, I’d kept that sparkling thread under my heart muscle and would take it out before I’d go to sleep, right before I’d close my eyes. I’d wind that delicate, vibrant twine around me tightly and burrow my face into my pillow and wish and dream. And the dream had come true. He’d done as he’d said. He’d come back for me. He’d broken me out and given me a new chance at a new life. I wanted that new life with him in it.

But now we had to separate, say goodbye.

We’d had two nights. They’d been priceless. Now they too would become memories to spool and unspool in the dark of my night.

Something dislodged inside me and threatened to slide out from under me. My stomach hardened against it. If I lost it now, got emotional and crazy, all of me would let go and go tumbling into a pit that there would be no climbing out from. I needed to choke it down and carry on without him holding my hand, without him whispering my name against my skin, and laughing softly in my ear.

Tania stepped back from us, and turned to her car, busied herself pushing shit around in the crowded trunk. Finger kissed me, cradling my face in his hands. I pressed into him, my arms wrapping around his waist, and squeezed him hard. My fingertips dug into the taut muscles of his back, memorizing their feel, their curves, how they stretched and tightened against me. How it felt, the two of us together in the world.

Would there ever be a place for us in this world?

“I’ll get you a driver’s license with a new name and date of birth. We got people in DMVs all over, won’t be a problem.”

“Goodbye, Serena,” I quipped.

“Yeah.” His eyes clouded at the sound of that terrible word. Goodbye. He fisted my hair, keeping me close. “I’ll be in touch real soon. You know that, right?” His voice was even more hoarse than usual, that odd, scratchy, husky quality more pronounced now.

“I know,” I said into his chest, breathing in the fresh soapy scent we shared from a shower the two of us had hastily taken together only half an hour ago.

Remember this. Remember how this feels.

He released me and pressed a round hard object covered in a worn suede pouch into my palm. “I want you to have this.” I glanced up at him as I opened the pouch and pulled out an old pocket watch.

He flipped the top. No, it wasn’t a watch.

“A compass?”

“My dad gave it to me. His dad had given it to him. It’s the compass he used in the army in Vietnam. Take it.”

“I can’t. It’s precious to you, it’s—”

He took my face in his hands, his fierce eyes drilling into mine. “You’re precious to me. You mean everything to me.” He swallowed hard. “I can’t explain it, but I have this mess of feelings for you. Actually, it’s not a mess, it’s real clear how important you are to me.” He took in a breath, his brows knitting. “Knowing you have the compass is a solid promise. My promise that I will always find you. I will always come for you, that you and me, we’re connected like the laws of gravity and magnetics and physics that govern this earth. You and me, we’re inevitable.”

My heart pounded in my chest as I held his iron gaze. Urgent faith, sturdy strength for the both of us.

A commitment.

“We’re going to be together one day, Serena. One day real soon.”

“One day,” I breathed, knowing in my gut what that meant.

Things were shit now. Med would be on the warpath, out for blood. He just might figure out that it was Finger who had helped me—or he wouldn’t. Either way, it meant that Finger and I couldn’t be together in plain sight. We would have to lay low for a long time yet.

How long?

“No one’s going to keep us apart.” Finger closed the antique brass compass and put his palm over it, pressing it in my hand. “We will be together, we’ll find a way. We can’t not find a way.”

“One day.”

“One day.” He kissed me hard, and a noise escaped the back of his throat. He pulled me into his chest, kissing the top of my head, burying his face in my hair.

I hung on. This was too hard, too awful. Too everything.

“We should get moving,” came Tania’s soft voice from somewhere behind me.

He let me go and hugged Tania. “Thank you. For everything.”

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