Page 242 of Fury

“He and Pam always had a thing going on. They’re really good together. When you know, you know, and nothing else will do.”

I kissed the side of her face. “No, nothing else.”

She slid a hand up my chest. “Actually, Beck is coming out here next week.” Her fingers curled in my shirt. “After the show in Denver, they have a two day break. He’s going to come stay for a night, and I thought it would be nice if you two met.” Her voice was quiet, her gaze soft. This was important to her. Of course it was.

“Great,” I replied.

“Great.”

“You think I’ll pass inspection?”

“Oh please. He’s a generous soul, you’ll see.”

My gaze went back to the tile border we’d made.

“Hey, it’ll be fine.” She sat up straighter, taking the glass from my hand and planting it on the table. “Are you nervous or something?”

“Nah, I’m just—”

“The great outlaw leader of the Flames of Hell is nervous to meet a boy?”

“He’s no boy. He’s a man. A man who’s protective of his mother, and rightly so. A man who wants the best for her. I am the best for her, but I want him to see that and trust it.”

She hugged me, planting a kiss on my mouth.

I stroked the side of her face. “Weren’t you a little nervous or something just now, telling me about his visit?”

She let out a breath. “Yeah, a little.”

“I don’t want you to feel that. He’s your son.”

She frowned at the sudden harsh tone in my voice.

“Is that all it is?” She climbed into my lap, and something inside me shifted. It was her favorite spot when we talked about serious shit years ago, from the very beginning. She faced me, hands on my shoulders. “Is it something else?”

“Nah.” I took in a breath, shaking my head.

“Just spit it out.”

“He’s a part of your life that I had no part of. Something that we’d wanted together but didn’t get. Something I always wanted to be the one to give you. But it wasn’t me. I couldn’t give you that. I used to wonder what it would’ve been like, if only this or fucking that. I used to think it’d be great if I were able to turn back time, but that would erase Beck, and you wouldn’t want that. Stupid.”

“No, not stupid. Feelings are never stupid. They’re never up for judgement.”

“I had an old lady once who got pregnant. She had a miscarriage and freaked out after.”

Her eyes widened. “Oh. Shit, I’m sorry.”

My hands went around her waist, rubbing up and down her lower back. “I couldn’t respond or react the way she needed me to, the way any normal man would’ve. I felt disconnected from it, and relieved. Having a baby was an experience I’d only wanted with you. All that time you were raising your son, enjoying him, living that, and a piece of me hated it while another piece was glad that you had that. I am glad. I am. Shit, I’m not—”

Her hand clasped the back of my neck. “You gave it to me. When you threw everything to the wind and came back to Kansas for me. And with no plans, no escape route in place. You just came onto your greatest enemy’s territory. For me. The place where they made you suffer, tried to break you, kill you. When I looked up in that kitchen and saw you...totally blown away. Everything that I thought I knew about people, about life, my life, you blew it up in flames right there.

“Everything you see here—my house, my store, my son, my smile, my colors,” she tugged on her hair “—all of it is because of your bravery and your love. Your desire, and I’m not talking about sexual desire. You are in all of this. No, it didn’t work out for us back then, and I made sure of that, but you need to know something. Beck is the one who saved me, put me back together again, kept me sane. Not my work, not Eric. That boy. Through him, I got through having to let go of Zoë, of you. I stood up on my legs again and got stronger. I had to for him, and he made it easier and sweeter to face each day.”

“Come here.” I kissed her lips gently, gently, and she wrapped herself around me, squeezing me tighter. “Want to fuck you so bad right this second.” My voice came out all creaky and hoarse.

“Baby.”

“Just move an inch back, and I’ll open up and slip it right in past those tiny panties you got on.”

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