Page 91 of Rewrite the Rules

He takes a small sip from his mug. “I’m not sure.Expensive. If I had to guess, it’d be like…more than adult braces but less than a Buick Enclave.”

I turn my palm up and scrunch my face.What?“What the hell kind of description is that? That’s basically saying bigger than small, but smaller than big.”

His monstrous shoulders rise and fall as he laughs. “Because I don’t know! All I know is Joel doesn’t like to splurge. He said Felices was an exception. Joel doesn’t like living the life he can afford. His humility is charming, right? I’d say it’s a pretty good play to get women, secret millionaire and all, but honestly Joel’s just wired to be down to earth.”

“Um, penthouse much?”

“You’re the only girl who’s seen the penthouse. Joel doesn’t bring women here. Gold diggers sniff him out like bloodhounds.”

I try to hide behind my mug. I make myself very small in my seat as I ask Cody a daring question. “Do you happen to know how long Joel’s been anti-marriage?”

Cody’s eyes fall to his lap. He’s not oblivious, he knows why I’m asking. “Since I’ve known him, at least.”

I take a sip of coffee to delay my response. I’m trying desperately not to sound too interested in this conversation. “Do you know why?”

“His parents did a number on him. Mr. and Mrs. Lewis are really—let’s just call it…passionate.Joel grew up thinking marriage turns people into monsters. His eldest brother Jackson is on wife number three. The brother after him, James, just went through a bitter divorce that was about three years overdue. Then Jacob—he has two children from two different marriages. Even his sister Cami—that’s…um, well it’s a whole other thing, but she might’ve had it the worst.” Cody takes another exaggerated sip from his mug. Whatever memory that just bubbled up is making him extremely uncomfortable. “Addie, if you’re asking because you think it’s just an excuse, it’s not. The guy is broken in a way. Joel has only ever seen painful relationships that always end horribly. His whole life is wrapped around statistics and patterns and I think he’s trying to avoid what he believes is inevitable.”

“Oh.” Poor Joel. His family…well, that’s a lot of evidence to make his point.

“I’m assuming you didn’t grow up with the same experience? You want the whole marriage and children thing?”

I’m a little caught off guard. In all the time Joel and I have been sleeping together, the question hasn’t come up. Because it’s not an option for us. “From the bottom of my heart, I truly believe that if it weren’t for my grandma, my parents might’ve left me at a fire station.”

Cody’s eyes pop open. He flinches at my candidness. It sounds a lot worse than it feels. I’ve had years and years to cry over it. I’m okay.

“But yes. I guess I went the other way. Lack of love made me determined to find it, I suppose.” Cody shoots me a side glance and I scramble to cover my tracks. “I don’t mean with Joel per se. I know where he stands. We’re just friends.”

Something catches Cody’s eye. He looks to the corner of the balcony, then at me, then back to the corner of the concrete and then his eyes land on me once more, wide and teasing. “Friends that fuck on the balcony?” The condom wrapper lies in plain sight.

Cody booms in laughter as I hang my head. I flush so hard my ears burn alongside my cheeks. “Oh my god, sorry.”

“About what?” Cody says as he bangs on his chest. All the laughing causes him to choke.

“It’s just embarrassing.”

“Why?”

“Vault?”

He squints. “I don’t know what that means.”

“As in what I’m about to say isinthe vault…keep up, Cody-cakes.”

“Ah, got it. Your secret is safe with me.”

I put down my mug on the table and pull my knees to my chin. I point at Cody. “Don’t be weird about this, okay?” He nods and I continue. “Joel brings out an odd side of me. I’m not the girl who wants it in public on a balcony. But for him—I don’t know. I feel like with Joel I’d be willing do anything, and it scares me. And it makes me wonder if he respects me a little less for it.”If I’m being totally honest it makes me wonder if I respect me a little less for it.“For all of it—like once you’re a fuck buddy, you’re always a fuck buddy.”

Cody pulls in his lips and closes his eyes. He exhales through his nostrils and I know for my benefit he’s trying very hard not to make a lewd joke. Which is good. I need big brother Cody right now, not ‘that’s-what-she-said’ Cody.

“You’ve got this all backwards. First of all, every man wants a lady in public and then an absolutely insatiable sex vixen in the sheets. That’s the dream.”

“I seriously doubt that’s the dream—”

“It is. But shush, let me finish. Second of all, I don’t care what you guys are calling it, you and Joel are dating.”

“We’re really not.”

“Except you sleep here most nights, he has all these cutesy nicknames for you, and you basically eat every meal together. I caught him watchingSex and the Cityon his own the other day because y’all started an episode and didn’t finish it. I’ve never given someone so much shit in my life. When you’re not here, he’s texting you with that stupid grin on his face. What part of that doesn’t sound like dating?”

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