Page 101 of Rewrite the Rules

I yank my phone out of my pocket and pull up my text message conversation with Adler from the other day. I slide it to Cody against the granite. He starts scrolling.

“It’s been two days now,” I admit. I didn’t know how to respond to Adler, so I didn’t…and now I look like the biggest asshole in the world. I kind of expected her to blow up my phone, sending a slew of angry texts. I thought I’d get a drunken call, which I would’ve happily answered even if she just wanted to rip my head off.

But nothing.

Adler spoke her piece and then went silent. I’m not used to her being silent. It’s killing me. I wish she would talk for both of us because I don’t know what to say. “She probably hates me now,” I say as Cody slides my phone back to me across the counter.

“I kind of hate you after reading that. What is your problem?”

“She wants a relationship,” I exhale. I hold my hands in the air. “What do I do with that? This is Juliana all over again.”

Cody rubs his face, looking exasperated. My have the roles reversed. I’m usually lecturing him on his lack of maturity. “How can you even begin to compare Adler with Juliana? You never felt this way about Juliana. And in case you didn’t notice, Adler’s already your girlfriend.”

“No, Cody. We were clear. We’re friends. Good friends…but it was all for fun. We’re justsleeping together—”

“And working together, and spending all your time together, and by the way, basically living together. All her stuff is here. Did you notice that? Real talk—I stole her shampoo from your shower the other day. She uses the good stuff”—Cody runs his hands through his shoulder-length blond hair—“and I like to keep the locks silky.”

I groan into my hands as Cody tells me what I sort of already know. But then why is this next part so hard? “I don’t know what to do, dude. I don’t want things to change because I know I can’t give her what she needs. At the same time, I don’t want to lose her. It’s selfish.”

“Joel,” Cody emphasizes as he snaps his fingers in the air like he’s trying to pull me out of hypnosis. “Just stop saying ‘fuck buddy’ and start saying ‘girlfriend’. Nothing else has to change right now. What woman wants to be reminded every day that she’s just a fling? Do you want to date other women?”

“No.”

“Are you sick of Addie?”

“God, no.”

“So just give the girl a little validation and buy yourself some time until you’re ready to pull your head out of your ass. You’re going to end up with her one way or another. It’s just when. What else are you looking for? Hm? She’s smart, talented, funny. You love spending time together. I hear you guys across the condo at all hours of the night so I know you’re either doing something right or she’s got her fake sex noises down pat.”

“You need to move out.” I glower at Cody, but he just chuckles.

“Bottom line, you say you’re so freaked out about a relationship, but you’re already in one. Is it so bad?”

“I don’t mind the relationship. It’s what comes next. Or the lack thereof. What are we going to do in a year or two when she’s ready for a ring and I don’t deliver?”

I almost forced myself to with Juliana. I was so damn close, out of guilt. What’s next? I’d probably go all the way with Adler, too scared to lose her, and we could spend the rest of our lives fighting and hating each other, just like my parents, just like my brothers and their wives. Marriage brings out the worst in people. Ask Cami.

“Don’t you think the right girl might make you reconsider your whole never-getting-married thing?” Cody belches and pounds on his chest. I can’t believe this caveman is giving me relationship advice.

“My parents got back together. Did I mention that?”

“Isn’t that a good thing?”

“You know it’s not. How long have you known us now? Apart, my parents are intelligent, kind, and loving people. Together? They are a fucking volatile wrecking ball.That’swhat marriage does. Take two good people, make them permanently reliant on each other, take away their freedom, and ability to think or make decisions for themselves, throw in some kids and a mortgage and what do you get? Monsters.”

Cody groans before he tips his beer to the ceiling. “Not every marriage is like that.”

“No? Then on the other hand you have Cami—her high school sweetheart treated her like a princess until she took those damn vows and then he decided as her husband he had every right to put his hands around her neck and his fist in her eye. What aboutthatversion of marriage?”

“Cami’s ex is a piece of shit. And he got what was coming. Didn’t Jackson and James both break their fists on his face? But again, that’sonebad guy, not all marriages.”

I shudder at the memory. One of the worst nights of my life. I still regret not taking a swing at that scum of a human being myself, but while my older brothers physically avenged my sister, I was rushing her off to the hospital, worried she was blind in one eye.

“And what about all my brothers’ failed marriages?”

“Joel. You are not your brothers. You want the truth? Friend to friend?”

I find Cody’s discarded bottle cap on the kitchen island and spin it. The metal clatters against the granite counter as it slows to a flat stop. “No.”

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