Page 67 of Rewrite the Rules

“Give me a minute. I’m right behind you.”

Joel walks out of the room, granting me my moment of privacy. I just need a safe space to react. It’s a huge moment. A moment I’m very much alone in. It’s not Joel’s fault he doesn’t know, but I’m more vulnerable right now than I’ve ever been before.

I’m at war again. My body, my mind, and my heart are all fighting at once. My lust-filled body isn’t shy. She has no shame in demanding satisfaction and just a moment ago she was in her element. But once my orgasm fades, my head catches back up and because she’s a clever bitch, she calls my heart for backup. They are screaming as loud as they can.

You can’t handle this. Stop now. Run.

After what Joel just did to me on this very couch, our relationship is changed forever. We can call it friendship all he wants, but now it’s more. The light in which we see each other has changed…it’s brighter. What we want from each other is different. What we’ll settle for—gone. Now that I know what more is, I’ll never stop needing it.

I breathe out deeply, trying to calm the nerves. I play the question game in my mind hoping it’ll help me decide what to do.

Wine or beer?

Beer, I say in my head.

Coffee or tea?

Coffee.

Jeans or skirts?

Jeans.

Mountains or beach?

Mountains.

Cake or ice cream?

Cake. Always cake.

Love or lust?

“…I don’t know,” I whisper out loud to no one but myself.

Joel has seen me naked. He’s touched me. He’s tasted me. I take a moment to prepare because as soon as I join him in his bedroom…

There’s no going back for me.

twenty-four

Joel

Too many competing thoughts race through my mind at the same time. I just broke my Adler diet and I opened the floodgates. I want every part of her. There aren’t enough hours in the night to satisfy my craving.

I may have to keep her forever.

While I’m waiting, the scenarios assault my mind. I could ask her to take everything off except those boots. I’d love to feel that suede chafing my shoulders as I rut into her until she’s begging for release. I could pin her ass against the wall while my head buries into her perfect round tits as she pulls my hair. Or maybe I’ll just bend her over my bed so she can feel every inch of me as I admire her from behind.

There’s so many options and I intend to explore all of them. But when Adler finally enters my room the expression on her face tells me I’ll be doing exactly none of those things.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, of course,” she says as she crosses the room to stand in front of me. I scoot to the edge of the bed, pulling her between my legs. I want to lean forward a little and bury my face in her supple chest but something’s off with her. She forces a small smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. “So, about that list?”

“Something is bothering you,” I say straightforwardly. I place my hands on her slim waist then slide them down over the curve of her hips.

“My mind is just on something. It’s not a big deal.”

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