Page 64 of Rewrite the Rules

“Make good choices, you two,” he calls over his shoulder before disappearing out of the room. The front door slams shut.

“Sorry about him,” Joel says, nuzzling into my ear.

“Sorry for what? He’s perfectly friendly.”

“Hopefully not our kind of friendly,” Joel breathes against my neck. He plants soft purposeful wet kisses from behind my ear to my throat. My stomach swoops. The ache between my thighs awakens instantly as if he has a magic ‘on’ button. He pulls my hips downwards so I’m lying flat on my back then pries my legs apart so he can wedge his body between them. He hovers on top of me and pauses to smile before he gently presses his lips against mine. His arms that are pillared on either side of me hold his weight, but even so, I feel the pressure of his muscled frame forcing me down into the leather couch. I welcome it. I need him here grounding me, holding me to the earth so I don’t float away.

“And then there were two. Finally, just me and you,” he whispers.

I mean to make a Dr. Suess joke but words escape me. My brain fogs over and there’s nothing funny about the way he’s touching me. We’re in the lab and this is chemistry. I’ll study the subject forever. It’s addicting. Overcoming. A lustful drug that immediately shoots through my veins like the best high in the world every time Joel touches me somewhere new.

He explores with his lips, trailing kisses beneath my collarbone. He tugs on the scoop neck of my sweater with one hand trying to expose as much skin as he can. His other hand is already underneath me, firmly pressed against my skin as he unclasps my bra. I decided to wear a matching set of sexy black lingerie tonight.Thanks for that, Mani.I shake my head in embarrassed annoyance remembering the conversation.

Joel immediately halts. “No?” His eyes are wide with concern.

“Not you. Sorry. Yes, to you. To all of this.”

Joel pushes up my sweater and forces my loosened bra upwards, freeing my breasts. I whimper when he engulfs me. This is about as far as I’ve been before, but with Joel I’m not dying to turn back. I’m nervous. Shaking, sweating, nervous. But forward is all I want. He swirls his tongue and flicks until my nipples are aching and raw from the attention.

“Your tits are perfect,” Joel says between mouthfuls.

“What makes perfect tits?”

He pulls away, eyes glazed, like he’s caught a thought and is lost. My exposed nipple, wet from his tongue, catches the cool air of the room and I shudder. Joel’s eyes rake over my chest, examining me thoroughly.

“Come to think of it, I don’t really know. I guess…they’re perfect because they’re yours.”

Oh, bravo.“Should we go to your room?”

“Why? Cody isn’t coming back anytime soon.” My expression twists with awkward uncertainty but Joel doesn’t seem to notice. His eyes are burning. “We’ll go in a minute if you want. There’s no rush. What if I want you here?”

Losing my virginity is enough of a hurdle. Losing my virginity exposed in the middle of Joel’s living room under all these lights? Reality sets in and my cool-girl act is finally at the closing curtain. I begin to panic. It’s not sexy, it’s not attractive, and I can’t for the life of me stop it.

My heart races uncontrollably and I try to swallow short heaves. I’m nearly hyperventilating. I subtly take deep breaths as the prickly tension of my nerves needle into my skin like getting a tattoo.

“Hey, whoa, whoa, Adler. What’s wrong?”

Joel removes his hands from my body and rises up so he’s no longer on top of me. I feel so stupid. I thought if you fake it, you’re supposed to eventually make it.

“Hey, talk to me. Are we going too fast?” His face contorts in worry. He blushes lightly as if he’s guilty.

“Oh, no. No, Joel. I want to do this. Ireallywant to do this. I’m just a little nervous.”

Joel grabs the throw blanket draped over the couch and wraps it around me when he notices I’m shivering.

“Why? It’s still just me. You’ve seen my dick, Adler. Touched it too. Not too much more I can hide from you.” He smirks.

“You haven’t seen me.” I suck in a breath and hold it. The vulnerability is making me nauseous.

“Is this your first time doing this?” My heart stops.Definitely, definitely nauseous.“With a friend, I mean. You don’t normally have sex outside of a relationship?”

I weigh my options. If I stand here perfectly still and don’t respond, if I don’t even blink—is that technically lying? “Why are you asking me this?”

“Because if you think I’m going to treat you like a one-night stand—I’m not. You’re important to me. And the best part of friends with benefits is that we can talk about this stuff without being weird about it.” Joel pats my knee through the blanket.

“Talk about what exactly?”

“What you like, what you don’t like, why the hell you’re so damn nervous all of a sudden.”

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