“All right. Also, when I get back let’s have a conversation about why my employees are keeping wine bottle openers in their desk drawers.”
“Sure thing, Mr. Lewis.”
* * *
Joel returns carrying two wineglasses upside down by the stems in one hand. In the other is the cheap wine bottle opener from my top desk drawer. Neither of those are particularly noteworthy. What sends me into a near heart attack is the pink paperback book tucked under his arm and the devious smile on his face. Oh, sweet hell. No.Please no.
I completely forgot I left that here after the book celebration with the girls nearly two months ago.
“I really thought that a bottle opener would be the most rebellious thing I found in your desk, but then I found this.” Joel can’t hide his thorough amusement as I swallow the bile rising in my throat. He sets down the wineglasses and opener on his desk and holds the book up in his hands, waving it teasingly from side to side. “Are you reading this?”
“Perhaps.” I give the book the side-eye and start making a mental rescue-and-escape plan that would make John McClane proud. “It’s a little personal.” Maybe he didn’t notice the creative liberties Noa took on this particular copy.
“Don’t be embarrassed. Reading this at the office? A little risqué but hey, I’m a cool boss.”
“Embarrassed?” My hand slides to my hip and my elbow juts out. “I’m notembarrassedabout reading it. It’s a decent book.”
Joel snorts. “I know what this book is. A friend of mine felt the need to screenshot me a page of the digital copy.”
My best chance at avoiding an uncomfortable admission is to just play this off cool. “Let me guess, page one-twelve?” I ask, arching my eyebrows.
“No…” Joel stretches out his response as his mouth curls into a salacious grin. “Page sixty-eight. What’s on one-twelve?” He begins flipping through the pages.
“Okay. Enough.” I cross the office with lightning speed and lunge for the book. “May I have my book back please?”
“Not a chance, now I need to know what’s on page one-twelve!”
Joel holds the book over his head. He’s six feet tall. I’d have to fetch a step stool to match his reach and I refuse to stoop to futile jumping antics. Instead, I place both hands on my hips and scowl while testing out my Superman laser vision to see if I can incinerate the book before he catches on.
It did not work in case anyone is wondering.
“Okay, come on, I’m sorry. I’m just kidding. There’s nothing wrong with—wait.” Joel rotates the book and scans the back cover. “Why did you glue your picture on the back of this book?” He lowers his arm to investigate the cover more carefully. I watch the gears in his head turn as he flips it over. “And why did you write your name on top of the author’s?”
Shit.“I didn’t. My friends did.”
“As a cruel joke?”
“Cruel? What does that mean?”Oh, ho, ho, my friend.Tread carefully.
“I mean I just feel bad for the author. She probably wanted to be taken seriously at some point in her writing career.”
My mouth hangs open and time stops as I gawk at his audacity. I think my tongue fully dries out before I finally find words. “Excuse me? Is over a quarter million copies sold in the first quarter of its release not serious enough for you? It lives on the top of the best-seller list. It’s literally making history in its category. It’s being optioned for a movie!”
“Oh. Come. On. It is porn on a page.”
“Porn?!” Okay. Now we have problems.
“Sorry, erotica. Lit-erotica? I don’t know. Whatever the term is. Point is, it’s not a real book.”
“Not a real book? You haven’t even read it!”
“Well, I read page sixty-eight. And now I plan on reading page one-twelve. It’s good for one thing at least.”
“You’re such an ass,” I snarl. Blood floods my cheeks, engorging every pigmented cell, but this time it has nothing to do with my arousal.
Joel’s face twists in confusion and surprise.Yes, you jerk, I am capable of being angry! I’m all sunshine and bubblegum until you insult my freaking book right to my face!
“How am I being an ass?”