Page 122 of Rewrite the Rules

“Do you know that I love you?” Adler’s eyes pop open immediately. I lean into her so her lips are inches from mine. “Because I do. More than I’ve loved anybody before. I’m sorry I’m so late saying it.” I stroke her cheek tenderly. “Do you still love me?” I near her lips but she leans away.

“Love is not enough, Joel.”

I duck my head. She’s right. It was never enough. Our entire relationship was about respecting my boundaries, so I couldn’t see the most obvious fucking thing on the planet. Love isn’t enough.

She needed me to choose her…

Over fear.

Over my past.

Over my demons.

“I made the biggest mistake that night. I didn’t earn your heart but you gave it to me anyway. I made light of the most important thing in the world. I thought I was protecting you…but falling in love with you made me realize what a coward I was. I had a hard time facing the real issue, with my parents. And I’m sorry you paid the price for that.” I hold my hand over my forehead as guilt floods through me. “If I would’ve treated you differently right out the gate you would’ve felt safe enough to tell me I was your first. You would’ve trusted me.”

“Joel—”

“And I would’ve done it better. I would’ve cancelled that trip. I would’ve held you all night.” I laugh to myself. “If I knew why you were so nervous, I would’ve asked if you wanted the lights off.”

“Yeah, naked on your couch under the lights was kind of grabbing the bull by the horns.” She giggles then her face sullens. “I didn’t mean to lie to you, I just didn’t want to scare you off.”

“I know. I tried to call you every night to apologize—”

“I’m sorry. I only blocked your number so I wouldn’t be tempted to slip back into old habits. Because I wanted to. So much.”

“I’m glad we had some space. I think I needed it. Missing you hurt. A lot. It woke me up.”

Adler’s shoulders twitch in the smallest shrug. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I said some things…”

“Things I needed to hear. Friends, fuck buddies, fun bunnies—whatever the hell we were calling it, it wasreal. It still is. What would it take for you to give me another chance? I’ll do anything.”

Her smile is guarded. “Is that even what you want? I just told you I need more, and I won’t settle. I want a future and a family. You don’t want those things.”

I nod firmly. “I do…with you.”

She allows her smile to spread. It touches her deep-blue eyes that glisten. “I thought for sure you would’ve moved on.”

Moved on?You can’t move on once you find the one. “I just have one more question for the game.”

“Okay.”

“It’s—well shoot. Will you reach into my coat pocket for me?”

“Is that—what? I don’t even know how to answer that.”

“Just do it, Baby Spice.”

Adler reaches behind her and fishes through my left coat pocket and then my right. She freezes. Her bottom lip trembles as she pulls out the tufted leather cube.

“Hey,” I whisper like a backstage command. “May I have that, please?”

She holds out her hands with the box teetering in her palm as I sink onto one knee in front of her. My heart races and the air escapes my lungs like I’m climbing stairs right back on the incline.

“Adler Monroe Haley—”

“How do you know my middle name?”

“Quinn.”

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