Page 107 of Rewrite the Rules

“Uh…it’s…pretty? Do you think maybe this is a bit moreyourtaste?” Joel shifts in the bed as I pretend to scowl.

“You don’t like it?”

“Um…” I grab my phone from the nightstand and pout dramatically. “What’re you doing?” Joel asks.

“Nothing, it’s fine. You hate it. I’ll just see what the return policy is,” I say, pulling up my email app on my phone.

“Adler, stop. It’s fine. You said this was a part-one and part-two gift? Is this a matching set? His-and-hers kind of thing? I’ll make it work.”

“Oh my god, Joel.” I roll my eyes as I place my phone on his chest. He flinches as the cool glass touches his skin. “It’s a collar, you dork. It’s forher.” Joel grabs my phone and looks at the picture the breeder sent me. “She just finished her last round of shots. She’s doing great and as soon as she weans, they’ll deliver her but it’ll be well after Christmas so I wanted to give you this now. You’ll get an email.”

“You bought us a cat?”

“No. I bought you a cat. Actually, I did not just buy you acat.I bought you the freaking Rolls Royce of cats.”

Joel’s locked on the screen admiring the picture. His mouth slowly widens as he studies her every feature. “She’s…wow…when did you do all this?”

“I’ve been talking to the breeder off and on for, oh I don’t know, a month now, I think?”

“You did all this before we decided to be together?”

“Of course. Look at your face, look how happy you look.” I smile. My jaw is exhausted from all this joy. “I wanted this for you as my friend or my boyfriend. Either way.”

Joel tosses my phone aside and grabs my hand. He kisses across my knuckles and the back of my hand repeatedly. The pop of each kiss sings to me that I’m adored, treasured, appreciated. I can’t get enough of this.

“What do you think?”

“I think I’m buying you two beds. That’s how amazing this is.”

“Good, I—”

“But how much did you pay for her?”

I let out a groan of annoyance. “We’re not talking about it.”

“Yes, we are. Adler, I sign your paychecks. I know you can’t afford a kitten like this. So that either means you used your book advance or you are laundering money.”

Laundering. Let’s go with that.

“It’s not a big deal—”

“No.” Joel shakes his head adamantly. “No. Adler, no. I don’t want you using your advance on me. That’s insane. This book is about you and what you’ve accomplished, it’s not something I want you to dole out for me, or for anyone else for that matter. I appreciate this so much, I do. I’ve been searching for a friend for Felices and I’ve come up short. You’ve already pulled off the impossible. So please let me do the one thing I’m good for and pay the breeder.”

I place my hands around his face. His short stubble roughs against my hands. I love that feeling underneath my fingertips. “I will let you pay off the kitten if you promise me you’ll never ever again in your life say that your money is the only thing you’re good for.”

Joel’s nod is solemn.That’s right, buster.I’m the one with debilitating self-doubt and insecurities. Don’t steal my thing!

“Fine,” he relents. “When and how?”

“The final invoice is in the top drawer of my desk downstairs. I’m going to hop in the shower really quick.”

Joel smirks. “You don’t want to be around when I see how much she costs, do you? You think I’m going to freak out when I find out how much you were going to pay?”Damn he really does know me.

“No. I just need a shower after the drive home and our sexcapades last night. Condom free is far more messy.Oooh!I’m going to make a bumper sticker…or a meme…perhaps a hashtag. Condom free—more messy. Or something like that. I’ll work on it.”

“Baby Spice, that’ll never catch on,” Joel calls from the other side of the bathroom door. I hear him trudge downstairs, no doubt eager to learn my secret.

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