Page 68 of Northern Stars

I thought the missing aspect would dissipate over time, but it didn’t. It only grew quieter.

Even though it had been over five years since we’d stopped talking, I still loved that man. It was a quiet love that moved throughout my life as a whisper. I sometimes wondered if he could ever feel my love for him when the wind brushed against him. I always sent him the best with my thoughts. At some point, we could read one another’s thoughts without issue. We were that close.

Now, he was nothing more than memories that floated around within my mind every now and again. Since I still lived in the small town where we grew up, not a day passed when Aiden didn’t cross my mind. Every little crack of every sidewalk held a memory that he and I shared. I was almost certain that for the remainder of my life, Aiden would live within my thoughts.

Yet seeing that text message pop up?

That caused me a wave of emotions I wasn’t quite ready to deal with.

I read it over a dozen times throughout the past few months. I talked to my therapist about it probably one too many times. I could almost hear his voice, hear his conflictions and tones through the sentence. I could tell he’d been drinking. Of course, he’d been drinking. I doubt that message would’ve come through if he’d been sober.

It was a good thing I hadn’t been drinking, too. Otherwise, I might’ve texted him back, and I knew I had no right to answer. Even though I wanted to. Even though my heart still ached for him after all this time. Even though all I wanted was to give him a hug after the biggest win of his career.

But the world I currently lived in wasn’t the same world I resided in when Aiden was in my life. That version of Hailee that he knew was long gone. I’ve changed, and I was certain that he had, too. I couldn’t currently be a part of his triumphs because years prior, I chose to become his pain.

So I sat in my silence and didn’t reply. I wondered what it must’ve been like for him nowadays, always surrounded by people. His world seemed so magical, packed with color, while mine was so ordinarily…ordinary.

Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t a bad life. I liked the world I’d created.

I’d spent my whole life in the same small town with the same small-town people talking about the same small-town things day in, day out. Over the past few years, most of my time was spent alone reading my romance novels, or with my parents, or working at the Starlight Inn, or with my friend Kate. Those were the ins and outs of my life.

I’d graduated from college last spring with a bachelor’s degree in psychology, and I was currently applying to colleges for my master’s degree in child psychology and development. I didn’t get into any of the programs I’d tried for before, but as Mama always said, “Try again and again until you get the result you’re searching for.” So, I was still going hard for my goals. In a way, not getting accepted to the programs lit a fire beneath me. Giving up on myself wasn’t an option. I didn’t care if it took me twenty more years to get my master’s, followed by my PhD. I was going to become one of the best children’s therapists in the country.

I had a vision, and it was crystal clear. Yet until then, I was working nonstop to pay for that college tuition.

Overall, life was beautiful because I worked hard to make it that way.

“Don’t tell me you’re on your way already. I just clocked in,” Kate said, fixing her name badge. She was one of the housekeepers at Starlight Inn where I worked and a saving grace in my life. I didn’t have many friends in town, all of which I could count on one hand—four fingers, if I were honest, but Kate was one of them. She was a stunning Asian woman who came into town a few years back. Since then, we’d connected once we started working together. We were complete opposites—which meant we worked out perfectly. She made me be more social when I was stuck in my introverted cave of reading. While I’d got her to start reading historical romances and cozying up with a book on Friday nights. I called it a win-win friendship.

“You should start working earlier,” I joked. “I’m off to help my mom bake for a few hours, then filling out more master program applications and reading.”

“You’re going to stay up all night reading the book and finish it before me, aren’t you?”

“Guilty.” Kate and I started our own romance book club, and she always complained about how I finished the books in one day while it took her a week. I blamed it on my inability to go to bed without knowing if the book ended with a happily ever after. Spoiler alert: they always did.

She blew out a cloud of hot air. “When do you even sleep?”

I glanced down at my smartwatch and held it up toward her. “Apparently, I get some good deep sleep between two and six o’clock.”

“And still not a bag of exhaustion under your eyes. I hate you.”

“You know what they say, genetics help. Plus, there’s the fifteen-step facial routine I partake in each morning and night.”

Kate rolled her eyes at me and waved me off. “Too much work. Just give me a bar of Dove soap, a washcloth, and a prayer to Jesus, and I’m good to go.” Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out a Tootsie Roll, unwrapped it, and popped it into her mouth. “Call me tomorrow. Maybe we can go to that festival together.”

I scrunched up my nose. “I’m not going to that festival tomorrow. Besides, I think I work.”

“Oh, come on. It’s not every day an Oscar-winning actor returns to his hometown. Aiden Walters’s return is the talk of the gossiping town.”

“Don’t remind me,” I muttered as I pushed my curls behind my ears. “I already have an appointment with my therapist to talk to her all about it. My anxiety is going crazy.”

“Or is it butterflies about seeing an old high school love?” Kate gave me a goofy grin. “What if there’s a chance for old flings to be reunited? Just think about it. High school lovers separated for years, then forced back together after growing up and realizing they just need to be together.”

I narrowed my eyes and pointed a stern finger at her. “I’m not going to get back with my ex-boyfriend just so you can meet Bradley Cooper.”

“But it’s Bradley Cooper!” she exclaimed, clutching her hands to her chest as if the idea of her and Bradley falling in love was something she played over and over in her head. To be fair, Kate probably did play that scenario on repeat.

“Good night, Kate.” I laughed, walking off, leaving my friend in the most dramatic state as she shouted back.

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