Page 45 of Northern Stars

He grumbled, and the three of us walked into the house.

I rubbed the back of my neck. “How did you even find out?”

He pulled out his cell phone and held it in front of our faces. “It turns out when your son is a celebrity, people take videos of him and post them all over social media. Plus, news flash, if your kid is missing from one period, the school calls and notifies the parent,” Dad barked, his veins popping out of his neck. His irritation was high, and my unease grew with each passing second. I shouldn’t have gone to the movies that day. Even though it was the best day of my life. Even though I felt free for the first time in a long time. Even though I was in love with Hailee Jones, and she loved me, too.

Holy shit, she loved me, too.

Still, I shouldn’t have gone because I let him down.

“Plus, what about that audition you were supposed to film and submit last night?” he asked me.

Oh, crap. I forgot about that. I scratched at my hair and muttered an apology. I felt sweat building at the brim of my forehead. My mouth parted to speak, but no sounds were produced. I felt frozen in a sea of anxiety, unsure of what to do or say next.

Mom noticed my panic and placed a gentle hand on my arm. “Go to your room. Your father and I will discuss your punishment, and we will go from there.”

“You’re being too easy on him,” Dad warned.

Mom shot him a harsh look. “And you’re being too cruel.” She turned to me. “Your room. Now.”

I did as she said. I went to the bathroom and let out a heavy sigh as my panic attack escaped from my chest where it had been sitting. “I’m okay, I’m okay, I’m okay,” I repeatedly told myself as my heart pounded against my chest as if it were trying to escape. “I’m okay, I’m okay, I’m okay,” I said again, trying to add calmness to the wildness of my thoughts. Dad looked at me as if he hated me. He stared as if I was the biggest disappointment in his life.

How did I forget to send that audition in? How did I drop that ball? He was going to be so pissed at me for that. I was trying my best to be what he wanted me to be. I was trying my best not to let him down. But today… I needed today. I needed to feel like I could be me for a little while and not who my father wanted me to be—him.

I splashed water on my face, feeling on the verge of vomiting. I hated how shaky my body felt as the panic rippled through my nervous system. I hated how it felt as if every inch of me was seconds away from shutting down. I hated how my mother could see how close I was to the edge and pull me back, but my father didn’t notice my struggles. He couldn’t see me.

He can’t see me.

He only saw what he wished to see, and whenever I shifted his perspective of being his perfect son, his disappointment made me want to fade into the void of life.

“What’s the verdict?”I asked Mom after she knocked on my door and came into my bedroom. I’d been sitting on my bed, waiting to hear the outcome of the day. She and Dad had been talking for the past forty-five minutes about me, and I turned my music up to tune it out.

“Three weeks grounded. Unless you have an audition coming up and need to travel. Outside of that, you go to school and then come home.”

“Fair enough.”

She walked over to my bed and took a seat beside me. “It’s not like you to lie and skip school like that.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“What’s going on in that head of yours?”

“It was on Hailee’s and my bucket list.”

Mom smiled a little. “Tom and Jerry being Tom and Jerry, huh?”

I scrunched up my nose. “I told her I had feelings for her today,” I mentioned.

Her eyes widened, but she didn’t seem too surprised. “And she…?”

“Feels the same way.”

She smiled. “Took you two long enough to figure that out.”

“Wait, you knew?”

“I’m your mother, Aiden.” She kissed my forehead. “I know everything.”

“Dad’s not going to forgive me for this, is he?”

---